Hi ❤️ This is something a lot of young people wonder about, and there's a lot of misinformation out there.

The truth is that having sex for the first time is not supposed to hurt. If both people feel ready, communicate with each other, take things slowly and stop if something doesn't feel right, there is no reason why it should be painful.

That said, experiences vary. Some people feel a little discomfort, nervousness or awkwardness the first time simply because they're anxious or unsure what to expect. Feeling relaxed, comfortable and able to talk openly with your partner can make a big difference.

The most important thing isn't whether it will hurt. It's whether you're emotionally ready, feel safe, and are able to make the decision without pressure from anyone else.

That first-time sex does not have to be painful, and nobody should feel they have to put up with pain to make someone else happy.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

From what you've said, being almost 14 and not having started your period yet is still completely within the normal range. I was nearly 15 when mine arrived, and lots of girls don't get their first period until their mid-teens.

It's easy to compare yourself to friends or siblings, but we all develop at different rates. Some girls start as young as 8 or 9, while others don't start until 15, 16 or even later. What's most important is that your body is showing signs of puberty, such as breast development, growth spurts, body hair and discharge.

I do wonder whether you've ever noticed a little brown discharge in your underwear. Sometimes a first period isn't bright red and can look brown instead. (It's not always bright red!)

As for when to see a doctor, it's generally worth speaking to one if you've reached your late teens and still haven't had a first period, or if you're concerned about your development for any reason. But at almost 14, there is usually plenty of time for your body to do things in its own way.

Regarding your sister, missing periods in your 20s can happen for lots of different reasons. Things like stress, changes in weight, some medical conditions, and certain forms of contraception can all affect periods. The fact that she's getting support from her doctor and has been given hormones suggests she's doing exactly the right thing by getting it checked out.

Nothing you've told me that sounds unusual for someone who is almost 14 and still waiting for their first period. It can feel like a long wait when everyone else seems to be starting theirs, but your body is working to its own timetable. 💖

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

This is a really common worry, so I'm glad you asked!

There is a myth that when you use a tampon for the first time, a "plug" breaks inside you. That isn't true.

What people are usually talking about is the hymen, which is a thin, stretchy ring of tissue around the entrance to the vagina. It is not a seal or a plug covering the vagina. In fact, if it completely covered the opening, menstrual blood wouldn't be able to come out during a period!

A good way to think of the hymen is like a soft hair scrunchie around the vaginal opening. It already has an opening in the middle, and when you insert a tampon, the hymen simply stretches and moves aside. For many people, the hymen has already stretched naturally through everyday activities such as sports, dancing, cycling, gymnastics, or simply growing up.

That's why using a tampon does not "break your virginity" and does not usually cause any damage. You can use tampons whether or not you've ever had a boyfriend or been sexually active.

If a tampon is inserted correctly, it should slide in quite comfortably. If it hurts, it may not be positioned quite right, and you can remove it and try again with a fresh one when you're feeling relaxed.

The idea of a tampon breaking a plug inside you is just a myth. Your body is designed to stretch, and the hymen is much more flexible than many people realise.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Firstly, please don't apologise. Questions like this are really common, and it isn't gross at all. 💖

From what you've described, it sounds like you're noticing smegma, which is a natural oily substance made by the body. It can collect between the labia (the "little flaps" around the vaginal opening) and may look white or creamy. Although it can look a bit strange if you've never noticed it before, it's completely normal and nothing to be embarrassed about.

Smegma helps keep the vulva moisturised and can reduce rubbing and chafing. It's just one of the many ways your body looks after itself.

When washing, there's no need to scrub, rub hard, or try to pick it all away. The skin in this area is very delicate. Simply wash your vulva gently with warm water when you shower or bathe. If you use a cleanser, choose one that is unperfumed and designed for sensitive skin. Strong soaps, scented products and vigorous scrubbing can actually cause irritation.

Vicki ❤️

Hi Belle, I am so glad to hear that you find crop tops  padded or unpadded suit you, I am a fan of these too. 

Vicki 🦄💖

Hi ❤️

When it comes to night time period pads is that, unlike tampons, there isn't a strict time limit for how long you can wear them. You can put a nighttime pad on just before you go to bed and then remove it when you wake up in the morning.

Night pads are designed to cope with a longer period of wear while you're asleep, helping to protect against leaks overnight. If your flow is particularly heavy, you may find the pad is quite full by morning, but that's exactly what it's there for.

You may also find it feels nicer to have a quick wash of your vulva (the outside area of your genitals) when you get up, especially if some blood has dried on your skin overnight. Warm water is usually all you need.

If you wake up and your pad feels uncomfortable, has leaked, or is very full, simply change it for a fresh one. The main thing is to wear a pad that's suitable for your flow and change it whenever it feels necessary.

The good news is that for most people, putting on a night time pad before bed and changing it when they wake up works perfectly well. 

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

It's a little bit of a myth that if you have period cramps one month, you'll always have exactly the same cramps every month. That's certainly not the case, especially during puberty when your hormones can be a bit unpredictable!

During your teens, it's very common for one period to feel quite different from the next. One month you might have stronger cramps, a heavier flow, and feel a bit tired or emotional. The next month, your period might be lighter and you may barely notice any cramping at all.

This happens because your body is still learning how to regulate its hormones and menstrual cycle. As a result, symptoms such as period pain, bloating, headaches, and mood changes can vary from month to month.

As you get older, your periods often become more regular, and you'll start to recognise your own pattern. Some people continue to have cramps, while others find they become milder over time.

Having a month with worse cramps doesn't automatically mean the next one will be the same. Our bodies are constantly changing, especially during puberty, and a bit of variation is completely normal.

Irregular period symptoms, changing period cramps, and puberty hormones are all common experiences for teens, so you're definitely not alone. ❤️

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

That's a great question! Growth spurts happen at different ages for different girls, depending on where they are in puberty. We are all different, so it's completely normal if your experience doesn't match your friends'.

For many girls, the biggest growth spurt happens between about 9 and 14 years old. It often starts a year or two before their first period arrives. You may suddenly notice that your trousers seem too short, your feet are growing, or you're getting taller much more quickly than before.

After starting their period, most girls will continue to grow, but usually at a slower rate. Many girls grow another few centimetres over the next couple of years before reaching their adult height.

The good news is that there isn't one "right" age to have a growth spurt. Some girls shoot up earlier, while others are later bloomers and grow more after their friends have finished growing.

Growth spurts, puberty, and first periods are all linked together, but everyone's timeline is unique. 💟🤍 Why not check out the blog below for more advice on this subject.

Growth Spurts & Growing Pains

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Yes, bloating can be a sign of endometriosis, although it does not automatically mean you have it. Many people with endometriosis experience what's sometimes called "endo belly", where their tummy feels swollen, tight, uncomfortable, or larger than usual.

However, bloating is very common and can also be caused by things like IBS, constipation, food intolerances, trapped wind, hormonal changes during the menstrual cycle, or simply being due on your period.

If your bloating is accompanied by symptoms such as:

• Very painful periods
• Pain in your lower tummy or pelvis
• Pain when going to the toilet
• Pain during or after sex
• Heavy periods
• Extreme tiredness

then it may be worth speaking to your GP about whether endometriosis could be a possibility.

From a teen perspective, occasional bloating on its own is usually much more likely to be related to digestion or normal hormonal changes than endometriosis. But if you're finding the bloating is frequent, severe, or comes with significant period pain, it's a good idea to get it checked out. ❤️

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Lots of girls wonder this, especially if they're expecting their first period.

Usually, you'll know you've started your period when you notice blood in your pants, on toilet paper, or in the toilet after using it. The blood might be bright red, dark red, brown, or even look a bit rusty coloured. All of these can be completely normal.

Sometimes a period starts with just a few spots of blood, while other times it can be enough to need a period pad straight away. Some girls also notice signs beforehand, such as discharge, mild cramps, bloating, tender breasts, headaches, or feeling a little more emotional than usual. But not everyone gets these signs.

The important thing to remember is that there isn't always a big warning. Many girls only realise their first period has started when they go to the toilet or get changed and spot some blood.

The good news is that if you're carrying a period pad or have one available at home or school, you'll be prepared whenever it happens. And even if your first period catches you by surprise, that's completely normal too.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

That's a really good question, and something lots of people wonder about.

Not everyone gets period cramps. Some people never experience them at all, while others get them every month. Some only get them occasionally. We are all different.

Period cramps happen because the muscles of the uterus (womb) contract to help push out the blood and tissue that make up your period. These contractions can feel like a dull ache, a tight feeling, or sometimes a stronger pain in your lower tummy or back.

The good thing is that there are ways to help ease cramps. Many people find that keeping active can make a big difference. Although you might feel like curling up on the sofa, gentle exercise such as walking, stretching, dancing or swimming can help relax the muscles and reduce discomfort. A warm bath, hot water bottle or heat pad can also be very soothing.

If you're new to periods, it can be reassuring to know that cramps don't always stay the same. Some people find they improve as they get older, while others only get mild cramps from time to time.

If period pain is ever so bad that it stops you going to school, sleeping, or enjoying your normal activities, it's worth speaking to a parent, carer or healthcare professional.

Vicki ❤️

For lots of girls, the first sign that their first period has arrived is simply spotting blood on the toilet paper, in their underwear, or sometimes even on their bed sheets when they wake up. Because periods can start at any time of the day or night, you don't always get much warning.

That said, your body often drops a few hints first. As you're 10, have you noticed any signs of puberty such as vaginal discharge, pubic hair, breast development, or feeling a bit more emotional at times? If you have, those can all be signs that your first period may be getting closer.

The tricky thing is that nobody can tell exactly when a first period will start. For some girls it arrives a few months after these changes begin, while for others it can take a couple of years.

It might be a good idea to put together a small period kit for your school bag now. You could include a couple of period pads, a spare pair of underwear and perhaps some wipes. That way, if your period does arrive when you're out and about, you'll feel prepared and confident.

And remember, when your first period comes, it doesn't have to be perfect! Most girls feel a bit surprised, nervous or even excited. Whatever you feel is completely normal.

If you'd like to learn more, I've written several blogs about first periods, puberty, and how to prepare for your period, which you might find helpful.

Vicki ❤️

5 Signs Your First Period Might Be On The Way

My First Period

Period Tips for School

Hi ❤️

That's a great question because discharge is completely normal, but lots of people don't know what it actually is!

Vaginal discharge is a fluid made by your body that helps keep the vagina clean, healthy and protected from infection. Think of it as your body's own natural cleaning system.

Discharge usually starts around the time of puberty, often before your first period arrives. It can look different from person to person and may be clear, white, creamy or slightly yellow when it dries on your underwear.

One of the clever things about discharge is that it changes throughout the month. The amount, colour and texture can vary depending on the levels of hormones in your body. Some days you may hardly notice it, while other days you might find you need a pantyliner because there's a little more than usual.

When you think about it, discharge is pretty amazing. It's your body's way of looking after itself and keeping your vagina healthy without you needing to do anything at all!

Vicki ❤️

What Is Vaginal Discharge? A Guide for Teens on What’s Normal and What’s Not

Hi ❤️It's funny isn't it, we talk about periods all the time on our chats, but we often never ask this basic question, so thank you for asking.

A period is a sign that your body is maturing and going through puberty. It's part of your body's natural monthly cycle and is completely normal.

Your body starts preparing for the possibility of a pregnancy long before you'll ever need to think about having children. That doesn't mean you have to want a baby in the future. It's simply one of the jobs your body is designed to do as it grows up.

Each month, the lining of the uterus (womb) builds up with blood and nutrients. If a pregnancy were to happen, this lining would help support and nourish the developing baby.

If you're not pregnant, your body realises that lining isn't needed. The womb then gently contracts and sheds the blood and nutrients through the vagina. This is what we call a period.

When you first start your periods, they can be quite unpredictable. They may be light or heavy, short or long, and sometimes you might even skip a month. That's completely normal while your body is learning its new rhythm.

Although periods can sometimes be annoying, they're a normal part of puberty and a sign that your reproductive system is developing as expected.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️ That's a brilliant question!

Although it only takes one sperm to fertilise an egg and start a pregnancy, millions of sperm are released at the same time. Most of them never get anywhere near the egg.

Many sperm don't survive the journey through the female reproductive system, some go in the wrong direction, and others simply run out of energy before reaching the egg. The sperm that do make it close to the egg help by releasing enzymes that assist the fertilisation process, but usually only one sperm actually enters the egg.

Once one sperm successfully gets inside, the egg changes its outer layer almost immediately. This creates a barrier that prevents any other sperm from entering. It's a bit like the egg locking the door once the first sperm has arrived!

So the short answer is that most sperm are naturally broken down and absorbed by the body, while just one sperm is usually responsible for fertilising the egg.

I think it's pretty amazing when you consider that pregnancy can begin with just one tiny sperm out of millions!

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

It sounds like you're trying to understand relationships and intimacy, which is completely normal as you get older and start learning more about life.

One thing that's important to know is that whether someone is fully dressed, partly dressed or undressed doesn't determine how close two people feel to each other. Relationships can involve lots of different forms of affection, such as spending time together, holding hands, hugging, talking, and supporting one another.

Learning about relationships can feel confusing at times, but asking questions is a great way to understand them better.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

That's a really interesting question!

The vagina is incredibly stretchy. Most of the time it's actually a collapsed muscular tube, with the walls resting gently against each other in folds rather than being held open. This means it can expand and contract when needed.

For example, the vagina stretches enough to allow a tampon to be inserted and removed, and in adulthood it can stretch much wider during sexual activity or childbirth. After stretching, the muscles usually return close to their normal shape again.

During puberty, some girls worry that using tampons, exercising, gymnastics, dancing, or swimming will "stretch out" the vagina, but that's not how it works. The vaginal muscles are designed to be flexible and elastic.

If you're wondering whether the vagina can become permanently stretched by normal everyday activities, the answer is no. The body is very good at maintaining the shape and function of the vagina.

It sounds like your body is making you curious about how everything works, and that's completely normal. Learning about your anatomy can make puberty feel a lot less mysterious!

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

It sounds as though the Daisy deodorant may have irritated your skin, and that's not unusual. During puberty, underarm skin can be quite sensitive, and some deodorants contain fragrances or ingredients that don't agree with everyone.

I'm not personally a huge fan of deodorants for younger teens, as they can sometimes leave a residue on the skin or cause itching and irritation. If a product is making your armpits itchy, that's usually a good sign that it's not the best match for you.

As for Wild deodorant, lots of people use it without any problems, but because you've already had a reaction to another scented product, it's worth being cautious. If you do decide to try it, stop using it if you notice itching, redness, soreness or a rash.

You may find an antiperspirant works better than a deodorant if your main concern is sweat and body odour. Antiperspirants help reduce the amount you sweat, while deodorants mainly help to mask odour.

Personally, I tend to prefer a simple roll-on antiperspirant. You only need one quick swipe under each arm, and they can be gentler than some sprays. Products such as Mitchum Unscented or the Sure Sensitive range are often good options for people with sensitive skin.

If your underarms are still itchy even after stopping the Daisy deodorant, give your skin a few days' break and just wash with a gentle, fragrance-free cleanser and water. If the irritation doesn't settle, have a chat with a parent or carer and consider seeing your GP or pharmacist.

From what you've said, I suspect you've simply found a product that doesn't suit your skin, which is something that happens to lots of people.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

No, periods do not stop when you're in water. This is a very common myth, and nobody really knows how it started!

Water pressure doesn't stop blood from leaving your body. Your uterus doesn't know whether you're in a swimming pool, the sea, a bath or standing on dry land, so your period continues as normal.

If you're planning to go swimming while on your period, you can use a tampon, menstrual cup or period swimwear if you feel more comfortable. If your period is very light, you may find you don't need any protection at all, as any small amount of blood released into the water would usually be quickly diluted and go unnoticed.

The most important thing is not to let your period stop you from enjoying swimming. You can safely swim, play in the sea, splash around in a pool, and take part in water sports while on your period.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Firstly, please don't worry about asking lots of questions. That's exactly what Ask Vicki is for! ❤️

When it comes to pubic hair, there isn't a magic age when you should start shaving. Some people choose to remove it, some simply trim it, and plenty of people leave it exactly as it is. Pubic hair is completely normal and actually has an important job helping to protect the delicate skin around your vulva.

Don't feel under any pressure to remove it because friends are doing it or because of things you've seen on social media. We are all different, and there is no "correct" amount of pubic hair to have.

If you're finding the hair is becoming a bit unruly or is visible around the edges of swimwear, you may prefer to trim it back. It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing decision. In fact, trimming is often a good option for younger teens because it's easier to manage and there's much less risk of cuts, irritation or ingrown hairs.

If you do decide you'd like to shave, take your time and be careful, as the skin around the vulva is very delicate. Hair removal is a personal choice, and it's worth remembering that once hair is removed it will grow back, so it does require regular maintenance.

I've actually written a blog about pubic hair removal and shaving, which explains the different hair removal methods, how to stay safe, and the pros and cons of each option. It's well worth a read before you decide what, if anything, you'd like to do.

Personally, I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with simply trimming pubic hair if that's what feels comfortable for you. The most important thing is that any decision you make is because you want to, not because you feel pressured by anyone else.

When Should I Start Shaving? A Simple Guide for Teens

Vicki ❤️