Hi ❤️

That's actually a really good question!

Periods happen because your body is preparing for the possibility of a pregnancy in the future, even though most teens aren't thinking about having babies any time soon.

Each month, your body builds up a soft, blood-rich lining inside the uterus (womb). This lining would act like a cosy cushion for a fertilised egg to grow in if a pregnancy happened.

Most months, no pregnancy occurs. When that happens, the body no longer needs that lining, so it breaks down and leaves the body through the vagina. That's what a period is.

It comes away gradually over a few days, which is why most periods last anywhere from 2 to 10 days.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️ What you're describing is something that most people do to some degree. We often imagine conversations, replay things that happened, think about what we wish we'd said, or picture how future conversations might go. It can be especially common when someone is dealing with a breakup, missing someone, crushing on someone, feeling lonely, or trying to make sense of complicated emotions.

From what you've said, your ex is avoiding you right now, so it's completely understandable that your brain is trying to fill in the gaps. When we don't get answers in real life, our minds often start creating imaginary conversations and "what if" scenarios. The important thing is that you know these conversations are happening in your imagination, even when they feel very vivid.

The smiling is normal too! If you're imagining a happy memory, a sweet text, a confession from a crush, or getting back together with someone, your body can react emotionally even though the conversation isn't actually happening. People laugh at memories, cry during films, and smile when daydreaming all the time.

The only thing I'd gently keep an eye on is how much time these daydreams are taking up. If you're zoning out for hours, finding it hard to focus in class, struggling to finish schoolwork, or feeling like you'd rather live in the imagined conversations than real life, it might be worth talking to a trusted adult about how busy your mind feels.

For now, my advice would be to try filling your day with other things that need your attention. Spending time with friends, hobbies, sports, gaming, reading, music, or other activities can help give your brain something else to focus on when it starts wandering back to your ex.

And honestly? The fact that in your imaginary conversation this morning you said you'd get back together, but now you know you wouldn't, tells me something important. It shows that these aren't secret wishes you're planning to act on. They're simply your brain exploring possibilities and working through your feelings.

That's actually a very human thing to do. ❤️

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

First of all, I want to say this very clearly: an online test cannot tell you that you have severe depression or severe anxiety. No matter how trustworthy a website looks or how accurate the test claims to be, they cannot diagnose a mental health condition. Only a doctor or qualified mental health professional can do that.

So please don't look at those results and assume that you definitely have severe depression or severe anxiety. In fact, many of the things you've described, such as feeling overwhelmed, struggling to switch your thoughts off, being emotional, feeling stressed about school and having trouble sleeping, can also be linked to puberty, stress, life changes, or simply having a lot on your mind at once.

From what you've written, you've got a lot going on right now. A breakup, pressure at school, worries about your grades, trouble sleeping, and big emotions would be a lot for anyone, especially at 12.

Puberty can bring huge emotional changes. It can make you feel anxious, overwhelmed, moody, frustrated and exhausted. It can also affect your sleep, making it harder to fall asleep even when you're tired. Many young people tell me they feel permanently worn out during puberty, so you're definitely not alone there.

I'm also wondering if you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. An 82 in English and a 90 in Maths are excellent grades. From what you've said, it sounds like you're used to getting very high marks, so anything lower can feel disappointing. But those grades tell me you're clearly bright and hardworking. Sometimes the stress comes not from doing badly, but from expecting yourself to be perfect.

You mentioned that you're gay and that your girlfriend broke up with you. Even if you feel okay about it now, breakups can still affect us in ways we don't always notice straight away. That's completely normal, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. ❤️

Hi ❤️

Mood swings in teens can bring lots of different emotions. One minute you might be laughing with friends, feeling happy and confident, and the next you could feel sad, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed or just want to be left alone. That's completely normal during puberty.

These changes can feel confusing and sometimes even exhausting. If you're struggling with how you feel, it can really help to talk to a parent, carer or another trusted adult. Letting them know what's going on means they can better understand why you might seem a little different at times.

Of course, mood swings don't excuse hurtful behaviour, but having honest conversations can help everyone work together on ways to handle these moments when emotions feel a bit harder to manage. Remember, everyone experiences puberty differently, and learning how to cope with big emotions is something that takes time.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Based on the measurements you've given, you may be around a 34A as a starting point. However, bra sizes can vary a little between brands, so you might find a slightly different size feels more comfortable.

A, AA and B cups are all very common, especially during puberty when breasts are still growing and developing. An you may also find that a soft bra, crop top, bralette or teen bra feels more comfortable than a traditional bra right now. The most important thing isn't the size on the label, it's finding something that feels comfortable and gives you the support you want.

And remember, there is no "correct" bra size for your age. Some people develop earlier, some later, and we're all different. 

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️ I want to start by saying that you are not being silly, immature, or "a baby" because you're not ready for this.

What really stood out to me in your message is that your boyfriend is saying that if you truly love him, you'll let him touch you and would want to touch him. But honestly? That's not how love works.

Love isn't something you prove by doing things that make you feel uncomfortable, scared or pressured. Real love is about trust, kindness, respect and feeling safe with each other.

The most important thing you've told me is that it feels too much and you don't feel ready. That's enough. You don't need a better reason than that.

At 14, it's completely normal to have boundaries and to want to take things slowly. Everyone is ready for different things at different times, and there is absolutely no rush.

A boyfriend who cares about you should be able to hear "I'm not ready" and respect that. He shouldn't make you feel guilty, pressure you, or suggest that your feelings mean you don't love him enough.

If part of you is worried that saying no means you'll lose him, I want you to know that a relationship shouldn't depend on you doing something you're not comfortable with. If someone is using the threat of breaking up, becoming distant, or making you feel guilty as a way of getting you to do something physical, that's not fair and it's not respectful.

It can be really hard to hear, especially when you care about someone, but if he won't accept your boundaries, you may actually be better off not dating him anymore. Someone who genuinely likes you should want you to feel safe, comfortable and respected, not pressured.

So please don't let anyone convince you that saying no makes you childish. It actually takes a lot of confidence and self-respect to stick to your boundaries when someone is pushing you to change them.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

I can't say for certain whether your period will have completely finished by Sunday because everyone's body is different, but if it started on Monday, there's a good chance it will be very light or coming to an end by then.

And an all-white dress code sounds like so much fun, although I completely understand why it's making you a bit nervous! 🤍

Even if your period seems to have finished a day or two before the party, you might find it reassuring to wear a pantyliner just in case. It's really common to get a little bit of spotting or a final small amount of blood right at the end of a period. I always think it's better to have that extra bit of confidence and not have to worry about it while you're enjoying yourself.

Remember, most periods don't stay heavy all the way through. They usually get lighter as the days go on, so if you're still bleeding by Sunday, it may only be very light.

Most importantly, don't let your period stop you from having a great time. Wear your white outfit, enjoy the party, and try not to spend the whole day worrying about "what ifs" because chances are you'll be absolutely fine. 

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Honestly, wouldn't that be amazing? One day of your period, a duvet day, some snacks, and then you're done until next month! 😅

Unfortunately, our bodies don't work like that. Your period happens because the lining of the uterus breaks down and leaves the body gradually over several days. If it all came out at once, it would probably be pretty shocking and uncomfortable.

There is actually something called a decidual cast, where the lining comes away in one piece. It's quite rare, but people who experience it often describe it as surprising, painful or even a bit scary. So while a period that lasts 2 to 10 days can feel really unfair, your body is actually doing things in a gentler way.

The annoying part is that periods don't always seem designed with school, sports, swimming or literally any of our plans in mind! But spreading the bleeding over a few days is generally much kinder on the body than losing it all in one go.

I know that probably isn't the answer you were hoping for, but you're definitely not the first person to wish periods came with a fast-forward button! 

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Honestly, puberty can be a lot, and sometimes it can feel like your family are the people who annoy you the most! One minute you're fine, and the next you're irritated, upset or angry, often without really knowing why.

The fact that you're asking this question tells me that you care about your family and want things to be better, which is a really good start.

It might help to have a chat with your parents or the person who cares for you when everyone's calm. You could explain that you're finding your emotions a bit all over the place at the moment and that sometimes you react before you've had a chance to think.

When arguments start brewing, try hitting pause instead of hitting back. Walk into another room, listen to some music, scroll for a few minutes, or take some deep breaths before replying. Giving yourself even 10 minutes to cool off can stop a small disagreement turning into a massive row.

Something else that really helps is asking yourself, "Will I still be angry about this tomorrow?" If the answer is no, it might not be worth the stress right now.

You're not a bad person for feeling angry. Everyone gets angry sometimes, especially during puberty. What matters is learning healthy ways to deal with those feelings, and the fact you're already thinking about it shows you're on the right track.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

For most people, a period lasting anywhere from 2 to 10 days is considered completely normal, and for those who are new to periods, they can sometimes be a little longer or shorter while your body is finding its rhythm.

So please don't worry that you're already on day three. Your body is simply working out the cycle that's right for you, and this may change from month to month, especially during the first few years after your periods start.

I know periods can feel frustrating when you're not used to them, but what you're experiencing sounds very normal. Hopefully it won't be too much longer before this one finishes!

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Period cramps can be really uncomfortable, but there are a few things that can help ease the pain. Even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing, gentle movement is one of the best ways to relax the muscles that are causing the cramps.

I'm not saying you need to run a marathon, but a brisk walk, some stretching, swimming, or even having a dance around your bedroom can make a real difference.

Keeping active can also help lift your mood and improve blood flow, which may reduce cramps. You could also try using a warm hot water bottle or heat pad on your tummy, as many people find this soothing.

It might not feel like it at the time, but moving around really can help. Trust me! 😊

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Spotting or mid-cycle bleeding usually happens in someone who has been having periods for a while.

If you're new to periods and notice a little brown, orange, or pink fluid in your underwear or on the toilet tissue, this is often the start of your first period, even if only a very small amount has been released. First periods don't always begin with a heavy flow and can sometimes start with just a little blood or staining before becoming more noticeable.

So, if you haven't had a period before and you've seen these colours, it's a good idea to be prepared, as your first period may be on its way.

Vicki ❤️

Hi Maya❤️

Firstly, one breast often develops before the other and this is completely normal. It can look a little strange when one seems much bigger than the other, but in most cases the smaller breast catches up over time. If one breast is ready for a bra, you could try wearing a crop top or sports bra, which can feel more comfortable and give you some support while your body develops.

From what you've said, you've already got several signs of puberty, including pubic hair and breast development. Everyone develops at their own pace, but periods usually arrive around 1 to 2 years after breast development begins.

And don't worry not everyone notices vaginal discharge before their first period, so the fact that you haven't seen any doesn't mean anything is wrong.

It sounds like your body is developing normally, and you may find that your first period arrives sometime within the next year or so, but there's no exact way to predict when it will happen.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

You can start tracking your periods at any age, but personally I'm not a big fan of period tracking apps for teens or anyone who is new to periods. During the first few years, periods can be very irregular, so there's no way an app can accurately predict what your body is doing. It can also be confusing because PMS symptoms and puberty changes can feel very similar.

Instead, I'd suggest keeping a note in a diary or calendar of the first day of each period. Over time, you'll start to build up a picture of how long your cycle tends to be and when your next period might arrive.

While you're getting to know your cycle, it's also a good idea to keep a small period kit with you when you're out and about, with a couple of period pads and a spare pair of underwear, just in case your period arrives when you aren't expecting it.

Remember, when you're new to periods, irregular cycles are completely normal, so don't worry if they don't arrive like clockwork.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️ this is usually completely normal. Your fingers can change size throughout the day because of things like warm weather, exercise, hormones, and water retention. When you're warm, your blood vessels widen slightly and your fingers may swell, making rings feel tight. On cooler days, your fingers can become a little slimmer, so rings may feel loose or even fall off.

You may also notice your fingers swell a bit around your period too, due to hormonal changes causing your body to hold onto extra fluid. If the swelling comes and goes and you're otherwise well, it's usually nothing to worry about.

However, if your fingers suddenly become very swollen, painful, another trusted adult.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

From what you've said, I honestly don't think this sounds like a problem at all. In fact, it sounds like you're a very active, sporty young person whose body is growing and changing.

You do swimming four times a week, horse riding, several types of dance, basketball and badminton. That's a huge amount of activity, and it's actually one reason why you may be noticing more definition in places like your wrists, arms, shoulders or other bones. As we grow through puberty, our bodies change shape, and muscle can develop underneath while baby fat redistributes. This can make parts of your body feel different even if your weight hasn't gone down.

It's also worth remembering that weight going up during puberty is completely normal. You've gained 15kg over three years, but during that time you've also grown taller, developed more muscle and become older. Muscle is heavier than fat, so a very active person can weigh more without being unhealthy.

What makes me a little sad is that people at your old school made comments about your fitness. From everything you've described, you sound anything but unfit. Sometimes people say things that are unkind or simply untrue, and if we hear them often enough we can start questioning ourselves, even when the evidence says otherwise.

Bodies come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Some swimmers are naturally slim, some are broader, some are muscular and powerful. None of those body types is wrong. If your goal is to take swimming seriously, the most important things are continuing to enjoy your sport, fuelling your body with good food, getting enough rest, and focusing on what your body can do rather than how it compares to someone else's.

You sound healthy, active and motivated. Try to give yourself the same kindness that you'd give a friend in the same situation. 

Check out my blog below for more advice and tips.

Weight gain in Teens

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Yes, this is very normal. The white or yellow marks you're seeing are most likely vaginal discharge, a fluid your body makes to help keep your vagina clean, healthy and protected from infection.

I know it can be a bit annoying, but lots of girls your age notice this during puberty. You may find that wearing a pantyliner helps catch the discharge and keeps you feeling fresher and drier throughout the day.

One last thing to know is that discharge is often a sign that your first period may be on its way, although it can arrive months or even a couple of a year before your period starts, so there's no need to worry if it hasn't happened yet.

As long as the discharge isn't causing itching, soreness, or a strong unpleasant smell, it's usually just a normal part of growing up.

Vicki ❤️