Hi there, crushes are honestly equal parts exciting and confusing, so everything you’re feeling makes total sense. From what you’ve said, it sounds like Z is friendly and chatty with lots of people, which makes it really hard to tell if there’s anything more there. And the situation with your friend M adds another layer, no wonder you’re overthinking it a bit.

💭 What to do next
You don’t need to rush into anything. For now, keeping things on a friendly, easy-going level is actually the best move. Chat to him, laugh, be yourself, let him see your personality without the pressure of “does he like me or not?”

At the same time, it’s really fair to be mindful of your friend. “Girl code” isn’t about shutting your feelings down, but it is about being respectful. Since he and M have history (and you think feelings might still be there), it’s wise not to jump straight into anything serious.

💗 A gentle reality check
If he does like you, he’ll usually give clearer signs over time, like making more effort with you specifically, not just treating you like everyone else. And if he doesn’t? That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it just means he’s not your person.

✨Confidence tip
You don’t actually have to “ask him out” right now. A softer step could be: talking to him more one-on-one, suggesting something casual like walking somewhere together or hanging out in a group,  this takes the pressure off but still moves things forward a little.

Remember you're allowed to have a crush, even in a slightly messy situation, just take it slow, stay kind (to your friend and yourself), and don’t put pressure on yourself to figure it all out immediately. The right things tend to become clearer with time and you don’t have to chase them. 💛

You would each have to click on the Contact Us link, send over your full name and postal address and be sure to confirm that if you are under the age of 16 you have your parents, or guardians permission to request a sample.

Hi, thank you for trusting me with this, there is a lot to unpack so I will break each of your questions down into categories if that's okay.

💬 You & your mam
Your relationship sounds really special. But even in close families, the deeper, more personal stuff can feel awkward to say out loud especially during puberty when teens become so very self-conscious. That’s completely normal.

Your parents likely aren’t getting it quite right because they’re worried, not because they don’t care, so if talking feels too hard, you could:

• write them  a message
• or say something simple like: “I know you’re trying to help, but it’s a bit overwhelming.”

Small steps are enough like this are more than enough to get you all back on track.

🧠 Mental health & self-care
Struggling with brushing your teeth or basic care isn’t laziness, it’s often what poor mental health looks like and add into the mix puberty and it does happen. Try lowering the pressure on yourself.

• Brush for 30 seconds instead of skipping
• Use mouthwash if brushing feels too much
• Eat fruit throughout the day when possible - apples and strawberries are great for teeth whitening

Aim for “small steps" and take a look at my blog Too Tired For School You deserve care, even on hard days.

❤️ About self-harm
I’m really sorry you’re dealing with that. You shouldn’t have to handle it alone.
Even if your parents don’t fully get it yet, it’s important to have support from someone like:

• a school counsellor or nurse
• a trusted teacher
• a helpline like Mind.org

You deserve proper support, not just to cope, but to feel better.

🪒 Shaving tips
You’re not behind at all. lots of teens figure this out themselves. Here are some basic tips and for more read my blog: When Should I Start Shaving? A Simple Guide for Teens.

• Shave in a warm shower
• Use shaving gel/conditioner (not dry skin)
• Use a clean, sharp razor
• Go in the direction hair grows first
• Use light pressure
• Rinse the blade often
• Moisturise to avoid irritation

Finally, you really are dealing with a lot, and you’re still trying and that matters more than you think. You don’t have to figure this all out alone, help and support is there for you, you just have to ask 💛

Hi, it sounds like you’re just noticing that little buzz you get when someone new gives you attention, and that’s completely natural 💛

Whether J likes you or not is honestly a bit hard to tell, chatting about kung fu and saying hi with a smile could just mean he’s being friendly and enjoys talking to you, especially since you share the same interest. A lot of the time, boys don’t make their intentions super obvious, so it can feel confusing!

The most important thing here is how you feel. You’ve said you have a boyfriend who is sweet and funny, and you wouldn’t want to end that for someone else, that’s a really clear and grounded way of thinking 👍

It’s absolutely okay to notice other people or enjoy chatting with them, but I think you’re spot on to keep things with J friendly and not read too much into it. Just enjoy your conversations, keep your boundaries clear, and don’t overthink it, you’re handling this really maturely already.

Hi! This is such a common worry, so please don’t feel embarrassed at all, loads of girls wonder exactly the same thing! Brown marks can absolutely be your first sign of a period starting. Period blood isn’t always bright red at the beginning, it’s often brownish, especially if it’s light, because it’s older blood leaving your body slowly. It can also show up as just a tiny mark at first, so what you’ve described could very well be the start of your period 💛

A helpful way to tell the difference is where it appears and how it looks. Period blood is usually more in the middle or towards the front of your underwear and doesn’t have a strong smell, whereas poo marks tend to sit more at the back and are often in a streak/line with a stronger smell.

If you’re still unsure, that’s okay, your first few “period signs” can be really light and confusing! It might be a good idea to pop a pad on just in case and keep an eye on things over the next day or two. Whatever it turns out to be, you handled it brilliantly by asking 😊

Hi 😊 That’s a great question, and it’s something lots of girls wonder about but don’t always ask!

Breast buds are actually the very first stage of breast development, and you usually can’t see them from the outside. They sit just under the skin, right behind the nipple, and often feel like a small, firm lump. It can feel a bit surprising (or even a little scary!) the first time you notice one, but it’s completely normal and just means your body is starting to develop 💛

It’s also really common for one side to start before the other, so you might feel a breast bud on one side first...don’t panic, the other one will catch up! As time goes on, that little lump will soften and grow into your breasts, all at your own pace. If you’d like a bit more detail and reassurance, I’ve written a full guide you can read here:

Breast Development & Breast Buds

Hi! 😊 It sounds like your body is doing exactly what it’s meant to do right now! All the things you’ve noticed - body hair, breast growth, spots, mood swings, and especially the increase in discharge are really strong signs that you’re getting closer to your first period. It can feel a bit overwhelming when your emotions go up and down so quickly, but that’s just your hormones settling into a new rhythm, and it’s completely normal at your age 💛

I can’t tell you the exact moment it will start, but I do think now is a great time to be prepared. Keeping a small period kit in your bag (pads, spare underwear, maybe some wipes) is such a smart idea and will help you feel much more confident when you’re out and about.

You’re doing brilliantly by noticing these changes and asking questions, your body is simply growing up, and it’s all part of becoming an adult.

Hi, there are some common signs, like breast buds about 2 years before and discharge and pubic hair about 6-12 months before a first period. But everyone really is different and the timelines are not always true, some will get a first period even before breast development. 

My advice is to pay attention to your body and if you have noticed discharge then this is a really good sign to have some pads with you always so you are never caught out.

How Do I Tell Someone My First Period Is Here (or Might Be Coming Soon)?

Hi, yes this is very normal, you see period blood is not released all in one go, but rather over a number of days, so even if you think your period has ended there may still be fluid yet to be released. This is why I always advise wearing a pad or liner for a day or two after you think your period has finished...just in case.

Hi, honestly I’m not a huge fan of Tanner stages because they can make people feel confused or like they need to fit into a certain category. Puberty is different for everyone, and people go through changes at different times and speeds, so it’s not always helpful to compare yourself to a stage or label.

Rather than worrying about which stage you’re in, try to focus on looking after yourself, eating well, getting enough sleep, and just letting your body develop naturally. You’re not “behind” or “ahead,” you’re just on your own timeline, and that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be 💛

Hi, and thank you, I am so pleased to hear you come back from time to time with questions, lots of girls do and I am always happy to help and support.

Hi, that’s not too personal at all, and it’s a really normal thing to be curious about! I got my period when I was 14, which felt quite late compared to my friends at the time, but it just shows how everyone’s timing is different. I think that’s also around when I first started shaving my legs and underarms. My first bra was a simple, soft, non-wired one, more like a starter or “training” bra, just for comfort rather than shape, i went into town with my friends and purchased a pack of two and felt very grown up.

With my daughters, one started her period at 12 and the other at 14, so even in the same family it can vary a lot. They both started wearing bras earlier on as their bodies changed, usually crop tops, but my youngest has a fuller bust so she really needed extra support by her late teens. And funnily enough, they actually started shaving before I expected, I only realised when I noticed how smooth their legs were one day, which led to a chat about doing it safely! It just goes to show everyone figures these things out in their own time 💛

Hi, thank you for explaining everything so clearly, that really helps. From what you’ve described, it does sound like your body is well into the later stages of puberty, which usually means your first period isn’t too far away. Having breast development for over a year, regular discharge, and body hair growth are all signs that your body is getting close. For many people, periods start about 1.5–3 years after breast buds begin, so you’re definitely within that window, even if it’s taking a little longer than you expected.

It’s also completely normal that the timing didn’t match exactly what was guessed before, bodies don’t follow strict schedules, even when we try to estimate. The increase in discharge over the last few months could be a sign things are progressing, and like you said, your first period might be very light at first (sometimes just a bit of pink or brown fluid). For now, you’re doing exactly the right thing: stay relaxed, don’t stress, and keep a pad with you so you feel prepared. It really does sound like your body is getting close, just on its own timeline 💛

It really can feel confusing, can’t it? One minute your period arrives and everything feels new, then the next you’re wondering where it’s gone! What you’re experiencing is completely normal, especially in the first year or two after your periods start. It’s very common to have gaps of a few weeks or even a couple of months while your body is still working out its own natural rhythm.

There isn’t anything you can do to “make it come”, your cycle is controlled by hormones, and they just need time to settle into a pattern. Try not to stress about it, as worrying can sometimes delay things even more. Just stay prepared by keeping a pad with you, and trust that your body knows what it’s doing. If you go several months without a period (6-9 months) or you’re feeling worried, it’s always okay to talk to a parent, or trusted adult for reassurance 💛

I’m really sorry this is happening to you, that’s such a tough situation to be in 💛

Friendships can get really intense during puberty, and sometimes when someone feels insecure, left out, or jealous, they might act out in ways like spreading rumours,  even though that doesn’t make it okay.

The best thing you can do is not fuel it. Try to ignore the rumours as much as you can, people who truly know you and care about you will recognise they’re not true. Hold your head high, stay kind, and don’t get pulled into drama. If you can, be the bigger person, sometimes showing a little kindness or simply not reacting can take the power away from the situation. And if it starts to affect you or gets worse, it’s always okay to speak to a trusted adult or someone at school for support. Keep being yourself and don’t let anyone dim your shine ✨

Whilst a first period can arrive from the age f 8 upwards, for many years and still today, the average age is 12-13 for many girls. 

But do remember we are all very different and your body will know when is the best time for your period to arrive.

Hi! There really isn’t a “right” age for wearing a push‑up bra, it’s much more about comfort, fit, and how your body is developing rather than a number. At 12–13, your breasts are still growing and changing, so if you do choose a push‑up style, it’s important it fits properly. The wires should sit flat against your ribcage (not on your breast tissue), and it shouldn’t feel tight or dig in. Often, softer bras like bralettes or lightly padded bras are recommended first, as they’re gentler while your body is still developing.

It’s also completely understandable to feel a bit insecure when you notice differences between you and your friends, but please remember that breasts come in all shapes and sizes, and smaller doesn’t mean “less than” in any way. You’re not behind or missing anything you’re just developing in your own time. If talking to your mum feels awkward, you could keep it simple and say you’d like to try a different style of bra for confidence or comfort, she’ll likely just want to help you feel happy and supported. You’re absolutely fine just as you are 💛

Hi, I completely understand why you’re feeling this way, especially in hot weather as pads can feel really uncomfortable. Menstrual cups can be a good alternative for some people, and yes, like tampons, there is a very small risk of things like TSS, but it’s extremely rare. When cups are used correctly (clean hands, emptied and rinsed regularly, and sterilised between cycles), they’re considered safe and many people find them much more comfortable than pads, especially in the heat.

The “other stuff” you’re thinking of is probably discharge or sweat, which can feel worse in hot climates. Wearing breathable cotton underwear, changing regularly, and staying clean and dry can really help with that. If you do consider trying a cup, it’s a good idea to speak with a parent, or guardian first so they can guide you and help you feel confident using it safely. It’s all about finding what works best for your body 💛

Hi! Firstly try not to panic. Periods are very well known for being a bit unpredictable, especially in the first few years after they start, so being a few weeks late can still be completely normal. Your body is still finding its own rhythm, and sometimes cycles can shift or skip without anything being wrong.

It can help to stay calm and not stress too much, as worry itself can sometimes delay things further. Just make sure you’re prepared by carrying pads with you when you’re out, so you feel more confident if it does start unexpectedly. If your period doesn’t come back for a couple of months, or you’re worried at any point, it’s a good idea to speak to a parent, or the person who cares for you, just for reassurance 💛

Hi, those are such good questions, and there’s no need to worry. Discharge (that clear or white fluid in your underwear) can start a year or even longer before your first period, so it’s completely normal if you’ve had it for quite a while and your period still hasn’t arrived yet. It’s actually one of the signs that your body is getting ready, so nothing is wrong at all, everyone develops at their own pace.