It’s completely understandable that you’re asking about your coping mechanisms, because when someone has a lot going on, they often turn to whatever helps them get through the moment. You’re just trying to manage feelings that are really heavy and some of the things you mentioned can be harmful for you, and that’s not a judgement, just a sign that you’re overwhelmed and need more support than you’ve been getting. You don’t have to stop everything at once or figure it all out alone, talking to someone you trust, like a counsellor, doctor, or adult who cares about you, can really help you find safer ways to cope. So please take that next step and reach out to someone when you feel ready.

Hi, feeling gender‑fluid while also dealing with periods can be really tough, and it’s totally normal to feel uncomfortable or dysphoric on days when you feel more like a boy. The routine you already have, getting into clothes that feel right, having a snack, doing homework, chatting with friends is a really good way to calm yourself and feel more like you, even when your body is doing something that doesn’t match how you feel inside.

It can also help to remind yourself that your period doesn’t decide your gender it’s just something your body does, not who you are. Focusing on things that make you feel comfortable, confident, or distracted can make the dysphoria a bit easier to handle. What you’re feeling is valid, and you’re already doing a great job figuring out what helps you. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to keep trying different little things until you find what works best for you.

So, you might be wondering what it would actually mean to have a baby at 16. In the UK, it’s legal to be sexually active at this age, and yes, your body might be physically able to get pregnant. But there are some really important things to think about first.

Your body might be ready… but the rest of you is still growing

Even if you look mature, your brain and emotions are still developing, and that’s completely normal. Being responsible for a baby while you’re still figuring out your own life can be seriously overwhelming.

A baby is a 24/7 job

Babies need constant care: feeding, changing nappies, waking up at night, soothing them when they cry...and  sometimes they cry a lot. It’s not something you can switch off from. You don’t get “days off” from being a parent.

Your whole life changes

School, friendships, going out, hobbies, your future plans, having a baby affects all of it. Once a baby arrives, you can’t just pick up where you left off. Everything becomes more complicated and you have to think for two, not just yourself.

Support is everything

Having a strong support system, family, friends, school, health professionals, makes a huge difference. Parenting is tough for adults with full‑time jobs and stable lives, so having people you can rely on is super important.

Boys often struggle talking about periods to girls, even if they act like they've got it all figured out!

You could pull him aside for a quiet one‑to‑one chat and say something like: “I know period talk might make you uncomfortable or feel left out sometimes, and I get that. But the comments you make, like joking about ‘dihreods’ or mocking my cramps really don’t help. They make me feel embarrassed, and they don’t show you in a positive light.

I’m not telling you this to start a fight. I’m telling you because I care about our friendship.

If period stuff isn’t your thing, that’s totally fine. You can just step away from the conversation or tune it out. Or if you want to understand better, maybe read up a bit so it doesn’t feel weird.

I like you as a friend, but these comments are making me wonder if you’re being a friend to me in return.”

Hopefully he will take on board your comments and realise his actions should be considered more sympathetically.

You do not have to be positive or strong every second of the day to have worth. Seriously. That pressure you’re feeling, the one that tells you to act tough, smile all the time, or pretend everything’s fine, that’s not the real measure of who you are.

Your worth comes from being a whole human being.
And being human means:

• sometimes feeling strong
• sometimes feeling fragile
• sometimes being joyful
• sometimes being sad
• sometimes being confused
• sometimes being resilient

All of these parts of you matter. None of them make you “less.”

When you allow yourself to feel everything, not just the “strong” stuff you actually become more balanced, more real, and way kinder to yourself. And honestly? That’s the kind of strength that actually lasts.

This definitely doesn’t mean you have to avoid treats or stop eating the things you enjoy. It’s just good to know that if you’re having a lot of sugary or highly processed foods, your skin might react a bit. Adding more fruits, veggies, whole grains, and healthy‑fat foods like salmon or nuts can help keep your skin calmer because they support steady blood sugar and reduce inflammation. Everyone’s skin is different, so it’s totally okay to pay attention to what your skin reacts to and figure out what helps it feel its best.

It makes total sense that you want to enjoy swimming on your holiday, and since you’ve already used a tampon once without any trouble, it’s reasonable to feel confident about it. BUT because your mum strongly dislikes tampons, the best thing to do is have another calm chat with her and explain that your period might arrive during the trip, that you’ve successfully used a tampon before, and that you’d only want to use them just for swimming.

If she still isn’t comfortable with that, then asking her to help you get period swimwear is the next best option, because secretly buying your own tampons could cause a much bigger issue later even though tampons themselves are safe at your age; being honest keeps trust strong and still gives you a good chance of finding a solution so you can enjoy your holiday without stress.

It’s totally normal for this to happen during exercise, especially in classes where you’re jumping or working your core. One simple tip is to ease back on how much you drink about an hour before class and make sure you pop to the toilet just before you start.

If you’re still feeling worried, you can wear a teen pant liner in your leotard. They’re shorter and narrower than adult ones, but still just as absorbent, so they’ll keep you comfortable without getting in the way.

How will I know my period has started if I’m wearing dark underwear?

Lots of girls wonder about this! Even if you’re wearing dark underwear, you’ll still be able to spot signs that your period has started. Period blood can look red or brown, and it usually shows up as a slightly different colour or patch on your underwear, even if the fabric is dark.

 

 

Whatever you’re wearing, your body will give you clues, so don’t worry, you won’t miss it and ensure you are prepared when out and about by having a period kit with you at all times.

 

I’m really sorry that you’ve lost your mum. That’s an incredibly hard thing to go through, and it’s completely understandable if growing up feels even more confusing because of it. Your dad might be finding things tough too, so it’s really important that you both support each other as best you can.

If there’s another female adult in your family, like a grandma, aunty, or even an older cousin you might find it helpful to chat with her about puberty and periods. Lots of people would be glad to help if they knew you needed someone.

If not, you can still talk to your dad. If saying it out loud feels awkward, try writing him a little note or drop him a text, explaining that you think you need to start getting ready for your period. You can ask if he could pick up some pads the next time he goes shopping, or even take you with him so you can choose the ones you prefer.

It might feel a bit embarrassing at first, but remember lots of dads do the family shop, and most are completely comfortable walking down the period products aisle. Your dad loves you, and he’ll want to help you through this just like your mum would have.

It’s totally normal to feel this way sometimes, especially when you have a friend who seems to be good at everything. But remember - nobody is great at everything, even if it really looks like it. And funnily enough, that friend you think has it all together is probably looking at someone else and thinking the exact same thing!

You have your own strengths, talents and brilliant qualities, even if you don’t always notice them. Try not to brush off compliments when people say “well done”, instead of replying with what you can’t do, practice saying “thank you.” It’s not bragging; it’s just recognising your achievements.

And just like you deserve compliments, it feels great to give them too! Celebrate your friend’s wins, and celebrate your own as well. You both bring something completely unique to the world and to your friendship.

No, you definitely don’t! Lots of girls and women choose to use pads for their whole lives, while others like to use tampons, or even switch between the two. It’s completely your choice and should be based on what you feel most comfortable with.

If you ever decide to try tampons in the future, remember that they’re very discreet and can help reduce period odour and leaks because they absorb blood from inside your body. But there’s no rush and no pressure, you can use whatever feels right for you.

Why not read my blog below.

When Is The Right Time To Use A Tampon?