Yes, this is on my list of blogs to create.

Hi ❤️ Sharing how you feel about your sexuality is a very personal decision, and there is no right age or deadline for coming out. Some people tell their family when they're young, while others wait until they're older and feel more confident about their feelings. Both choices are completely okay.

It sounds like you and your friend are doing a great job of supporting each other, and that's really important. However, just because your friend may decide to come out soon doesn't mean that you have to do the same. Everyone's journey is different.

If your friend wants to come out because she'd like more freedom to dress in a way that feels right for her, that's her choice. But you don't need a specific reason to come out, and you also don't need to come out simply because someone else is doing it.

The most important thing is that you feel comfortable, safe, and ready. If right now you're happy with only your best friend knowing, that's perfectly fine. There is no prize for coming out sooner, and there is no problem with waiting until the time feels right.

Puberty is a time when lots of young people are getting to know themselves better, and it's okay if you're still figuring things out. Don't let anyone pressure you into sharing something so personal before you're ready.

Trust yourself. When the time feels right, you'll know. And if that time isn't now, that's okay too. Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Thank you for your question. Everyone develops at their own pace, and it's completely normal to be curious about your body as you grow up.

When it comes to getting to know your own body, there aren't any specific rules about how you should feel or what you should be doing. It's a very personal thing, and everyone's experiences are different. Just because you hear friends talking about something or see content online doesn't mean it's something you have to do.

The most important thing is that you never feel pressured to do anything you're not comfortable or ready for. Take things at your own pace and remember that growing up is different for everyone.

Vicki ❤️

Hi ❤️

Thank you for your question and for being so honest about what you've been going through.

Firstly, please don't be too hard on yourself. Building a habit and then finding it difficult to stop doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It simply means that your brain has got used to a particular routine, and breaking routines can take time.

It's also worth remembering that being curious about your changing body is a normal part of growing up. The problem only really starts when something becomes a daily habit or something you turn to out of boredom, stress, or routine rather than genuine curiosity.

You mentioned that you've already tried some of my previous suggestions but still find yourself going back to old habits. In that case, try focusing on changing the situations that make the habit more likely to happen. For example, spend less time alone scrolling on devices, avoid staying online when you're bored, and keep yourself busy with activities that require your full attention, such as sports, hobbies, reading, gaming with friends, music, or creative projects.

Another useful trick is the 10-minute rule. If you feel the urge to watch something, tell yourself you'll wait just 10 minutes first and do something else during that time. Often, the feeling becomes less intense and easier to ignore.

Most importantly, don't think of this as a battle that you either win or lose. Everyone slips back into habits from time to time. What matters is that you keep trying and focus on making progress rather than being perfect.

The fact that you've reduced how often this happens compared to the past is already a positive step, so give yourself credit for that.

Good luck, and remember that habits can be changed, even if it takes a bit of time and patience. Vicki ❤️

Hi there, Kit,💖 

Thank you for your honest question. First of all, I want you to know that what you're feeling is okay. Lots of young people spend time thinking about who they are, including their gender, especially as they get a little older and begin going through puberty.

You do not need to have everything figured out right now to talk to your family about how you're feeling. And you definitely don't need to be planning any changes to your body to wonder whether you might be trans. Gender identity is about how you feel inside, not whether you want to change your appearance or have medical treatment.

It sounds as though your dads have created a loving and accepting home, which is a wonderful starting point. Of course, it's still completely normal to feel nervous about bringing up something so personal.

You could try saying something simple like:

"I've been thinking a lot about my gender lately, and I think I might be trans. I'm still figuring things out, but I wanted to talk to you about how I've been feeling."

If you're worried about becoming emotional, you could even write a letter, text message, or note and give it to them first.

As for your concern that they might say you're too young or pretending, remember that sharing your feelings isn't the same as making a final decision about who you'll be forever. You're simply being honest about what's on your mind right now. It's okay to explore those feelings, ask questions, and take your time.

There is absolutely no rush. Some people understand their gender identity when they're young, some when they're older, and some find that their feelings change over time. 

Be kind to yourself, Kit. You don't need to have everything worked out before talking to the people who love you. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is simply start the conversation. ✨ Vicki 

Hi 💖 

That's a really good question, and you're definitely not the only person who's wondered about it.

The reason your teacher may not have talked about this yet could simply be that your school hasn't reached that part of its relationships and sex education (RSE) lessons. Different schools cover topics at different ages, and sometimes lessons about puberty, growing up, healthy relationships, and reproduction happen over several years rather than all at once.

For now, it's helpful to know that sex is usually talked about in the context of adult relationships, reproduction, and physical intimacy. As you get older, your school should teach you about these topics in an age-appropriate way, including how relationships work, how babies are made, and how to stay safe and healthy.

If you're feeling confused or have questions about puberty or growing up, don't be afraid to ask a trusted adult, parent or school nurse. Asking questions is a normal part of learning, and there's nothing embarrassing about wanting to understand how your body works.

Try not to worry if you haven't been taught everything yet. You'll learn more as you get older, and it's completely okay to be curious. 💕Vicki

Hi there 💖

Firstly, I want to say how thoughtful you're being about this. It's completely normal to feel nervous about telling people something important, even when you think they're likely to be supportive.

The fact that you already feel your parents will probably be understanding is a really positive sign. Sometimes our biggest worries come from not knowing exactly how a conversation will go.

You don't need a big speech. In fact, keeping it simple can make things easier. You could try saying something like:

"I've been thinking about how I identify, and I'd like you to use he/him or they/them pronouns for me. I don't mind which. I wanted to tell you because it's important to me."

If talking face-to-face feels too daunting, you could write them a text, a note, or a letter instead. Lots of people find it easier to put their thoughts into words when they have a bit of time to think about what they want to say.

Remember, it's okay if your family needs a little time to get used to the change. Even supportive parents can make mistakes at first, but that doesn't necessarily mean they don't care or aren't trying.

Most importantly, there's no rush. Tell them when you feel ready, in a way that feels comfortable for you.

You sound like you've already given this a lot of thought, and having the courage to share who you are is something to be proud of. Good luck, and remember that you deserve to be addressed in a way that feels right for you. Vicki 💖 

Hi F 😝💖

Thank you so much for your message, and please don't worry, it's not confusing at all. Lots of young people have questions like this, especially during puberty, so you're definitely not alone.

What you're describing is actually very common. As you grow up, your brain and body go through lots of changes, and it's normal to start thinking about gender identity, sexuality, and who you are as a person. Sometimes those feelings can seem very clear, and other times they can feel a bit mixed up.

From what you've written, it sounds like you're sometimes wondering whether you'd rather be a boy, sometimes feeling happy being a girl, and sometimes feeling drawn to the idea of being non-binary. It's okay to have those thoughts. It doesn't mean you have to make any decisions right now.

One thing I'd like you to remember is that gender identity and sexual orientation are two separate things. Gender identity is about who you are, while sexual orientation is about who you might like or be attracted to. It can take time to understand both of those things, and that's perfectly normal.

My biggest piece of advice is to try not to put pressure on yourself to find the perfect label straight away. You don't have to decide today whether you're a girl, a boy, non-binary, or anything else. You also don't have to figure out exactly who you like right now. Many young people find that things become clearer as they get older, while others continue to discover new things about themselves. There's no right or wrong timeline.

for now, be kind to yourself. You don't need all the answers, and you don't need to rush. The most important thing is being yourself and giving yourself time to grow. Vicki 💖

Hi there 💖

Firstly, please don't apologise. It's not a weird question at all.

How somebody chooses to explore their body intimately, and what feels comfortable for them, is entirely their choice. There is no rule book and no "right" or "wrong" way. Everybody is different, and what feels right for one person may not feel right for another.

The most important thing is that you feel comfortable, relaxed, and listen to your body. If something feels uncomfortable or painful, don't force it.

And remember, being curious about your body and how it works is a completely normal part of growing up. Vicki 💕

Yes, this is correct.

Hi there 💜 This is an interesting question, I seem to have so many great ones today.

Asexual (often shortened to ace) is a word some people use to describe themselves when they don't experience sexual attraction to other people, or experience very little of it.

Now because we are all do very different being asexual can look different from one person to another. Some asexual people have crushes, fall in love, and enjoy close relationships, while others may not be interested in those things.

Here are a few simple examples:

• Someone who isn't asexual might develop sexual attraction towards someone they like.
• Someone who is asexual might like a person as a friend, have a romantic crush on them, or want a relationship, but not experience that sexual attraction.

It's also important to know that being asexual is a valid sexual orientation, and it's completely okay if you're still figuring out how you feel. There's no rush to label yourself, and it's normal to have questions about sexuality and identity as you grow up. Vicki💜

Hi there 💖

That's not a weird question at all!

Vaginal discharge and arousal fluid are two different things:

• Vaginal discharge is made by the vagina and cervix to help keep the vagina clean and healthy. You might notice it most days, and it can change throughout your menstrual cycle.
• Arousal fluid is extra moisture produced when the body responds to romantic or sexual feelings. Its job is to lubricate the vagina, making it feel more comfortable.

Both are completely normal, but discharge is part of your body's everyday cleaning system, while arousal fluid is a temporary response that happens when the body becomes aroused.

This can sometimes happen when you're watching or reading something romantic, and you have very little control over when the fluid is produced, even if you aren't planning on doing anything sexual. Vicki ❤️

Hi there 💕Gosh, what an interesting question! The truth is that there isn't just one answer, because people choose to have babies for lots of different reasons.

For some people, there's a very strong desire to have a child to love, care for, and watch grow. They may dream of becoming part of a family unit and sharing special moments like birthdays, holidays, and family traditions. Some people describe this feeling as a maternal instinct or paternal instinct.

Others want to experience the journey of parenthood, teaching a child new things, helping them learn about the world, and supporting them as they grow up. They enjoy the idea of seeing a little person develop their own unique personality, interests, and talents.

It's also important to remember that not all babies are planned. Sometimes a pregnancy can happen as a result of a couple having sexual intercourse, even if they weren't expecting or intending to have a baby at that time. While many parents carefully plan for a family, others are surprised by the news and then decide to continue the pregnancy and welcome their baby into the world.

Some people also like the thought of having a family that continues into future generations. They may look forward to sharing family stories, values, and traditions with their children.

Of course, not everyone wants to have children, and that's perfectly okay too. People have different hopes and dreams for their lives, and there is no right or wrong choice.

What's most important is that becoming a parent is a personal decision, and the reasons behind it can be just as unique as the families themselves. Vicki 💕

There is no right or wrong amount when it comes to exploring your body. Everyone is different, and what feels normal varies from person to person. However, if you find yourself masturbating several times a day, it may be worth asking yourself whether you're doing it because of sexual desire or simply because you're bored. Often, boredom can be a contributing factor.

This isn't a weird question at all! 😊

Yes, a girl can have a relationship with another girl, and the word sex can cover lots of different kinds of intimacy - it's not always about intercourse.

If you're in the UK, it's important to know that the age of consent is 16, regardless of whether the relationship is between a boy and a girl, two girls, or two boys. The law is there to help keep young people safe. 

For now, it sounds like you're thinking about your feelings for this girl, and that's completely normal. 💜 Take your time, get to know her, and remember that healthy relationships are built on respect, consent, and feeling comfortable with each other.

Hi there, firstly, you are always welcome here. 😊 In fact, many people come back for advice well into their twenties and beyond, so there's absolutely nothing embarrassing about reaching out when something is on your mind.

It sounds as though you're carrying a lot of guilt and frustration, and I wonder if some of that goes back to the experience you had when you were younger. When we're made to feel ashamed of something, those feelings can sometimes stick around long after the moment has passed.

What I'd like you to remember is that having unwanted thoughts or feeling drawn to a particular habit doesn't make you a bad person. The more we tell ourselves "I must not think about this" or "I have to stop completely", the more our brain tends to focus on it.
You mentioned that you're on holiday, spending lots of time at home, and I think that's a really important clue. When we're bored, lonely, stressed, or simply have too much unstructured time, habits can start to feel much bigger than they really are.

Rather than focusing on fighting the urge, try focusing on filling your days. Could you:

• Get out of the house each day, even for a short walk?
• Meet up with friends or family more often?
• Start a project, hobby, or fitness goal for the summer?
• Spend more time in shared spaces rather than alone in your room?

Small changes like these can help break the cycle and give your brain something new to focus on.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Shame rarely helps us change; understanding ourselves does. If you ever feel that a habit is genuinely affecting your wellbeing, relationships, studies, or daily life, it may be worth talking things through with a trusted healthcare professional who can offer extra support💜

Hi, this is a really good question, and the answer is that people learn about relationships and growing up in lots of different ways. 💜

Girls might find out about these topics through:

• Parents, carers or trusted adults at home.
• School lessons, such as Relationships and Sex Education (RSE), where age-appropriate information is taught.
• Friends, although it's worth remembering that friends don't always have the right information!!!
• Trusted websites and resources designed for young people, such as the Lil-Lets Teens Hub, where you can find reliable information and answers to common questions.

If you're ever curious about something, it's always best to get information from a trusted adult, teacher, or a reputable educational resource rather than relying on rumours or social media.

Remember, everyone learns at their own pace, and there's no rush to know everything at once. It's completely normal to have questions, and asking them is a great way to learn. 😊

Hi, 💜 Thank you for being honest about something that's clearly been worrying you. It sounds like you've seen things online that felt confusing and overwhelming, and the fact you're reaching out for help shows a lot of maturity.

What I want you to know is that you are not a bad person. Sometimes young people come across adult content online before they're ready for it, and it can be difficult to stop looking at things that have become a habit. From what you've written, it sounds like the biggest issue isn't you, it's that you've been spending time in online spaces that aren't suitable for someone your age.

The best thing you can do now is talk to a trusted adult, such as a parent, guardian, or another adult who cares about you. Ask them to help you put some boundaries on your phone, tablet, or social media accounts so you're less likely to come across this content. It can also help to spend more time doing things you enjoy offline, hanging out with friends, getting active, or being in shared family spaces rather than alone online.

Most importantly, please be careful with online groups and strangers. If a chat, group, or account is sharing adult content or making you uncomfortable, leave it and block it. You deserve to be in online spaces that are safe, positive, and age-appropriate.

Be kind to yourself. Habits take time to change, but you've already taken the first step by asking for help. 💜

Hi, the most important thing to know is that the law treats everyone the same, regardless of their sexuality. In the UK, the legal age of consent is 16, which means a person must be 16 or over to legally take part in sexual activity. Different countries have different laws, so this can vary depending on where you live.

Rather than thinking about an "average age," it's more important to remember that people feel ready at different times. Some people are interested in relationships earlier, while others aren't interested until they're much older and both are completely normal. 🌈

For now, focus on building healthy friendships, getting to know yourself, and learning about respectful relationships. There's absolutely no rush.

Hi, STI stands for Sexually Transmitted Infection. It's the name doctors use for infections that can be passed from one person to another through sexual contact. If you ever hear the term STD, that stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, but STI is the term more commonly used today.

If you're learning about this in school and have questions about health, puberty, or growing up, don't be afraid to ask a trusted adult, teacher, school nurse, or healthcare professional for more information. 💜