Hi 💙

It's completely understandable to feel sad about going into your last year of primary school, especially when you've had such a happy time there and have made lots of wonderful memories with your friends and teachers.

Try not to focus too much on what will happen 12 months from now. Instead, put your energy into enjoying the year ahead. You still have a whole year of fun, learning, school trips, special events, and time with your friends. There are so many happy moments still to come.

Remember, you're not the only one feeling this way. Lots of people feel a bit nervous, excited, and sad all at the same time when they're getting closer to secondary school. That's completely normal.

Your teachers will spend the year helping you get ready for the move to secondary school, so you won't be expected to figure it all out on your own. As the months go by, you'll learn more about what to expect, meet new people, and start to feel more confident about the change.

Right now, your job is simply to enjoy Year 6, make lots of memories, and have fun with your friends. Secondary school might seem a little scary at the moment, but for many, it turns out to be an exciting adventure with new opportunities, new subjects, and new friendships.

Take one day at a time. You have lots to look forward to, and there's no rush to worry about next year just yet. Vicki 💙

Hi💖

First of all, I want you to know that a foundation year is nothing to be ashamed of. It got you onto your degree, you've successfully completed it, and you're now entering the next stage of your studies. That's an achievement, not a failure.

That said, you're also allowed to have information that you consider private. You don't owe everyone from school or back home a detailed explanation of your academic journey if you don't want to share it.

From what you've described, I don't think you're being unreasonable. You didn't demand that the post be changed. You politely asked after seeing it and explained that calling yourself a "2nd year" feels a bit odd when you're actually starting your third year at university overall.

As for your friend, her response doesn't sound dismissive or annoyed to me. It sounds more like a quick reply from someone who was busy:

"Flipp, I can't really change it now that it's up 🥲"

Often when people manage society social media, they schedule posts, have lots of messages coming in, and don't necessarily realise how important a particular issue is to one person. The fact she hasn't replied further doesn't automatically mean she's upset with you.

Should you follow up? Yes, I think it's reasonable to follow up once.

Because this is causing you significant anxiety, a gentle message is perfectly acceptable. You don't need to mention the foundation year if you're not comfortable doing so.

You could say something like:

"Hey! Sorry to bring this up again. I know you're really busy. I was just wondering if there was any chance of removing the year from my committee post when you get a chance? I'd really appreciate it because it's been playing on my mind a bit. No worries if not, I just thought I'd ask. 💕"

That's polite, appreciative, and doesn't put pressure on her.

What if she says no? If the post stays as it is, it's worth remembering something important:

Most people are far less likely to notice than your anxiety is telling you.

For someone to work out that you completed a foundation year, they would need to:

• See the society post.
• Notice it says "2nd year".
• Remember what year you're supposed to be in.
• Think about it long enough to realise there must have been a foundation year.
• Care enough to ask.

That's actually quite a long chain of events. Anxiety has a habit of taking a possibility and making it feel like a probability.

If someone does ask: You don't have to justify yourself.

You could simply say:

"I did a foundation year before starting my degree." Then change the subject. You don't owe anybody an explanation beyond that.

You mentioned regretting telling people in the past that you hadn't done a foundation year. I think the reason this feels so stressful now is that you're trying to protect a secret that doesn't actually reflect anything negative about you.  Sometimes the fear of judgment becomes much bigger than the thing itself.

Think of it like this, if one of your friends told you they'd done a foundation year, would you think less of them? Probably not.

For now, though, focus on what you can control: send one polite follow-up message, then let your friend respond in her own time.

And please remember this: whether you're entering the second year of your degree or your third year at university overall, you've earned your place there. That's something to be proud of, not something to hide. ❤️Vicki 

Hi there 💖

Firstly, I'm really sorry that your friends are laughing because your period hasn't arrived yet. Try not to let their comments upset you. If they understood how puberty works, they'd know that everyone develops at their own pace.

The truth is that there's no "right" age to start your period. Some girls get their first period at a younger age, while others don't start until their mid to late teens. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, and it certainly doesn't mean you're less mature than your friends. It simply means that your body isn't quite ready yet.

I can relate because I was one of the last in my friendship group to start my period too. Mine didn't arrive until I was nearly 15, so I know how frustrating it can feel when everyone else seems to have started before you.

For now, try to hold your head high and remember that your body is following its own timetable. It may also be a good idea to keep a small period kit in your school bag with a few period pads, just in case your first period arrives when you're out and about.

Your first period will come when your body is ready, and chances are it's not as far away as you think. Until then, be kind to yourself and don't let anyone make you feel bad about something that is completely normal. Vicki 💖 

Hi there 💖

It sounds as though you're stuck in a really difficult position. On one hand, you care about your friend and enjoy spending time with her, but on the other, your dad clearly has concerns about the friendship. That's not an easy situation to be in.

Although you don't mention your age, I'm assuming you're under 18 and still living at home. If that's the case, it's important to take your parents' concerns seriously, even if you don't fully agree with them right now.

I can understand why you might be tempted to meet your friend without your parents knowing, especially if you feel they are being unfair. However, I wouldn't recommend doing that. Meeting someone in secret could damage the trust between you and your parents and may make the situation even harder to resolve.

Instead, try having a calm conversation with your dad. Ask him to explain exactly what his concerns are about your friend. Listen carefully to his reasons, then explain your own feelings about the friendship. Sometimes parents notice things that young people don't, but sometimes they can also misunderstand a situation. The best way forward is through honest communication.

You could also ask whether there is a compromise. For example, could you spend time with your friend in places your parents are comfortable with, or invite her over when they are around? That might help everyone feel more at ease.

Most importantly, don't put yourself in a position where you feel you have to choose between your family and your friend without first trying to talk things through. Being open and honest is usually the best way to build trust and find a solution that works for everyone. Vicki ❤️

Hi there 💜

This isn't a question, but it did make me smile because so many people can relate! 😳😂

Sometimes having a crush is all about the excitement of wondering if they like you back. Then, when they finally do, all the mystery disappears and you suddenly find yourself thinking, "Wait... maybe I don't actually like them that much after all!" 😅

But there's another side to it too. Sometimes when a crush likes us back, we can get a little flustered and suddenly want to back out. Not because we don't like them, but because having those feelings returned can feel scary! If you've never been in that situation before, it can be a bit overwhelming when the daydream suddenly becomes reality. 😳

Crushes can be funny like that. Sometimes we like the idea of someone, the butterflies, or the chase more than the reality of being in a relationship. Other times, we still like them, but we're nervous about what happens next.

The good news? It's completely normal. Having a crush doesn't mean you're guaranteed to want to date that person forever, and feeling nervous when they like you back doesn't mean your feelings weren't real. It's all part of figuring out relationships and learning more about yourself.

And honestly, I think half the readers will be nodding along to this one! 😂

Vicki 💜

Hi there 💜

Oh, if only there was a magic formula for making a crush like us back! 😅 Sadly, there isn't a secret trick that guarantees someone will develop feelings for you.

My best advice is to be yourself. Let your crush see the real you, whether you're talking to them directly or just hanging out with friends. Being kind, funny, friendly and confident in who you are can be far more attractive than trying to act like someone else.

When you do get a chance to chat, keep it simple. You could ask things like:

• "How are you finding homework lately?"
• "Have you watched any good shows recently?"
• "What music are you listening to at the moment?"

People usually enjoy talking about things they're interested in, and asking questions shows that you'd like to get to know them better.

If starting a conversation feels a bit scary, don't worry! Sometimes a quick smile when you see them or saying "Hi" is enough to start building a connection. Small steps can make a big difference.

Most importantly, remember that your worth doesn't depend on whether a crush likes you back. The right person will appreciate you for who you are, so never feel like you need to change yourself to get someone's attention.

Good luck, and try to enjoy the butterflies! Vicki 💜

Hi there 💕

From what you've described, it certainly sounds like you have a crush! And honestly, first crushes can feel pretty amazing, exciting, confusing and nerve-wracking all at the same time.

When you have a crush, you might find yourself thinking about that person a lot, looking forward to seeing their posts, wondering what they're like in real life, or getting butterflies when they pop up on your screen. If that sounds familiar, there's a good chance you're experiencing your first crush.

The good news is that there's no need to rush into anything. Right now, just enjoy getting to know more about him from a distance. You could like some of his posts, leave the occasional friendly comment if it feels natural, and see whether you have any shared interests.

Remember, having a crush doesn't mean you have to act on it straight away. Sometimes it's fun to simply enjoy those feelings and see where they lead. As you get older, you'll have plenty of opportunities to make new friends and meet new people.

Most importantly, don't worry about being "inexperienced". Everyone has a first crush at some point, and nobody is born knowing exactly how to handle those feelings!

Good luck, and enjoy the butterflies! 🦋

Vicki 💕

Hi there 💖

I do understand why you might feel that way. When you're in Year 8, it can sometimes seem as though everyone is talking about crushes, girlfriends, boyfriends, and relationships!

But here's a little secret: there's no rush. Lots of people in Year 8 are single, even if it doesn't always feel like it.

The best relationships usually start with friendship. Instead of focusing on finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, try focusing on meeting new people and building connections.

You could:

• Join school clubs or activities that interest you.
• Get involved in hobbies or groups outside school.
• Spend time with people who share your interests.
• Be friendly, kind, and confident in being yourself.

When you get to know people naturally, you may find that one of those friendships grows into something more.

And remember, having a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't make you more popular, more mature, or more valuable. The most important relationship you have at your age is with yourself and the friends who make you feel happy and supported.

So don't worry about being "so single" 😊. Focus on having fun, making friends, and enjoying being you. The right person usually comes along when you're busy living your life rather than searching for them. Vicki 💕

Hi there 💖

Firstly, take a deep breath.

You've got a lot going on at the moment: your third period, cramps, friendship drama, a crush being shared without your permission, worries about starting a new school, acne, anger, and questions about what your parents might think about your new friend. No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed.

The first thing I want you to know is that you don't have to solve all of these problems at once.

Let's break things down a bit.

Your period sounds quite normal. During the first few years, it's common to have cramps even when there isn't much bleeding. Early periods can be irregular, light, heavy, and generally unpredictable.

As for the boy situation, I'm really sorry your friend told other people about your crush. That wasn't fair. But try not to let this define you. Having a crush is completely normal, and I promise you're not the first person in your year to have one. Most people will have forgotten about it much sooner than you think.

Now let's talk about the friendship issue. From what you've written, it sounds as though this friendship has become very stressful. One thing puberty teaches us is that not every friendship is meant to last forever. Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is step back from people who constantly upset us.

Regarding your anger, I'm glad you've spoken to a doctor about it. What happened with the walking stick sounds really upsetting, especially after all the work you'd put into making it. But here's something important: anger is an explanation, not an excuse. We can't always control how we feel, but we can learn ways to manage how we react.

One of the most powerful things you can learn is to pause before responding. Sometimes walking away, taking a few deep breaths, or saying nothing at all is much stronger than having the perfect comeback.

As for your new crush, you don't have to panic about what your parents might say. Right now, you've met someone you like talking to, and that's okay. At 11, friendships and crushes are often about getting to know people and enjoying their company. You don't need to rush into anything or have all the answers straight away.

Finally, I'm a little concerned when you say you're dealing with depression and that you're crying, feeling angry, and struggling with lots of emotions. Puberty can absolutely make feelings bigger and more intense, but you shouldn't feel like you have to carry this on your own. Even if your mum isn't keen on counselling right now, please keep talking to trusted adults. That could be a parent, another family member, a teacher, a school nurse, a Scout leader you trust, or your doctor.

And one last thing:

Acne doesn't make you ugly. A leaked crush doesn't make you embarrassing. A difficult friendship doesn't make you a bad person. A tough few months don't mean life will always feel this hard.

You're dealing with a lot, but you're also showing a lot of strength by talking about it instead of bottling it all up. Take care, Vicki 💕

Hi, for me, instead of saying what you originally planned, it might be better to keep the focus on getting to know them as a colleague. Asking how they're so confident talking to people at work, what helped them settle into the workplace, or how they build good working relationships can be a natural way to continue the conversation. It's also fine to mention that you enjoy your one-to-one chats because you find them easy to talk to, without making it sound too personal or putting pressure on the relationship. That keeps things friendly and professional while still being genuine.

I think going forward you may find the following trusted sites more suitable for your workplace dilemmas.

• Mind.org.uk: Excellent articles on workplace wellbeing, communication, relationships at work, boundaries and confidence.
• Psychology Today: Has advice articles written by psychologists covering friendships, social skills, workplace dynamics and emotional wellbeing.
• Harley Therapy: UK-based site with practical articles on relationships, self-esteem, anxiety and communication.
• Acas: Great for workplace-specific advice, including managing professional relationships, difficult conversations and workplace expectations.

Hi💖 I'm really glad you wrote in because what you're feeling is completely understandable. Being left out by friends can hurt a lot, especially when you care about them and make an effort to be there for them.

One thing I've learned is that friendships are often tested during puberty. Everyone is dealing with changes, emotions, mood swings, and sometimes friendship groups can become a bit complicated. That doesn't automatically mean you've done anything wrong.

The fact that you're worried about being a bad friend actually makes me think the opposite. You sound like someone who listens, supports your friends when they need to vent, and makes an effort to stay in touch. Those are all signs of a caring friend.

That said, it is upsetting when your friends don't text or when you find out they've met up without you. Even though your friend E doesn't seem bothered by it, it's clear that it matters to you, and your feelings are valid.

My advice would be to try not to jump straight to blaming yourself. Instead, why not suggest something for the whole group? You could invite everyone to the park, a café, the cinema, or even a sleepover if that's possible. Seeing who wants to come can give you a better idea of where the friendships stand.

If that's not something you feel comfortable doing, you could send one friend a simple message such as:

"Hey, I've noticed we haven't been talking as much lately and I miss hanging out with you. Have I done anything wrong?"

Sometimes a kind, honest conversation clears up misunderstandings that have been worrying us for weeks.

Also, you mentioned that you've been feeling tired and that your mood has been changing a lot. Puberty can definitely make emotions feel more intense, so please be gentle with yourself. Make sure you're taking care of yourself too, rather than putting all your energy into looking after everyone else.

Remember, good friendships should make you feel valued most of the time. If some friends are drifting away, it doesn't mean you're a bad friend. Sometimes people change, groups change, and new friendships can grow from that too.

Be kind to yourself. You sound thoughtful, caring, and loyal, and those are wonderful qualities to have. ❤️

Hi, I am sure your friend was not offended by your message and has probably moved on from the sugar-rush episode already.

"Careful on the sweets 🙂" comes across as a light-hearted, caring comment, especially as you'd just seen them feeling unwell after having too many. It doesn't sound critical or mean-spirited, and the smiley face helps show that you meant it warmly.

Sometimes we can overthink things we've said, particularly when we care about what other people think of us. But from an outside perspective, your message sounds like a friendly check-in rather than anything negative.

Try not to dwell on it. It sounds like a perfectly kind and well-intentioned message to send.❤️

Hi, yes, I did receive your reply. I hope you don't mind but I didn't feel it needed a response from me, it was more a statement from yourself on the understanding of my earlier response.

As I mentioned in my previous message, you may find it more helpful to seek support from a forum that focuses on workplace issues and interpersonal relationships, where you'll be able to get more specialised advice on the situation.

Take care,

Vicki ❤️

Hi there 💕

Yes, it absolutely is possible to be further along in puberty than a friend, even if they have started their periods and you haven't.

One of the biggest myths about puberty is that everything happens in the same order for everyone. In reality, our bodies all follow their own timetable.

For example, some girls get their first period quite early, sometimes before they've noticed much breast development or other changes. Meanwhile, another girl might have developed breasts, grown pubic hair, noticed body odour, mood changes, or even had a significant growth spurt, but still not have started her periods yet.

That's why having a period isn't the only sign of how far along someone is in puberty. There are lots of different changes happening at the same time, and they don't always happen in the same order.

My advice is not to compare your puberty journey with your friends, sisters, or classmates. I know that's easier said than done, but everybody's body is unique. Some people develop earlier, some later, and most people fall somewhere in between.

As long as your body is changing gradually and you're healthy, it's usually doing exactly what it's supposed to do. One day you'll look back and realise that everyone caught up in their own time! Vicki 💕

Hi, I can see you've given this a lot of thought, but I wonder if you might be overthinking things a little.

It's quite common to find some people at work easier to talk to one-to-one than in a group setting, and I don't think there's any need to plan a big conversation around it. I also wouldn't worry too much about mentioning that there was something else you wanted to talk about. Most people won't hold you to that.

My advice would be to let future conversations unfold naturally rather than rehearsing them in advance. Very often, what we plan to say in our heads comes out differently when we're actually chatting with someone.

One other thing I'd gently mention is that this forum is mainly aimed at pre-teens and teenagers, with a focus on puberty, periods and growing up. While I'm always happy to answer a variety of questions, I do wonder whether you might benefit from a more suitable forum, or source of support for some of the workplace and relationship questions you've been asking, as you may receive more tailored advice there.

Hi, I think your messages sound warm, genuine and appropriate. At this stage, I'd try not to overthink what might happen next.

Sending messages via social media is far more appropriate than private messaging for your old friends, it's worth sending a message and seeing if they reply. If they do, focus on enjoying a simple conversation and catching up on what's been happening in each other's lives.

Your message to your former line manager is thoughtful and appreciative, and I'm sure they would be pleased to hear the positive impact the placement had on you.
For now, I'd concentrate on reaching out and seeing what response you get. There's no need to plan further ahead until you've had the chance to reconnect.

Hi, I don't think it's strange to wonder what happened to old friends, especially when the pandemic disrupted such an important time in your life. Many people feel as though they missed out on opportunities to maintain friendships or say proper goodbyes, so you're certainly not alone in that.

If there are former school, college, or university friends you'd genuinely like to reconnect with, a simple message such as, "Hi, I was thinking about you recently and wondered how you're doing?" on a social media platform like Instagram, snapchat or Facebook is perfectly reasonable. The important thing is to send the message without any expectations. Some people may be delighted to hear from you, while others may have moved on, and both responses are okay.

As for your former line manager, I think it's lovely that you still appreciate the opportunity they gave you. A brief message thanking them and letting them know the placement had a positive impact on you would be entirely appropriate. However, I'd be careful about putting pressure on the relationship or expecting it to become something more than a professional connection.

One thing I would gently say is that reconnecting works best when both people show an interest in keeping the conversation going. Send a friendly message if you'd like to, but then allow the other person space to decide whether and how they would like to respond.

Sometimes closure comes from expressing gratitude or saying hello, rather than from rebuilding the relationship itself.💜

Hi, firstly, no, I don't think you've "ruined" anything. 

However, I do think you're starting to overthink this relationship and perhaps placing a lot of importance on interactions that the other person may see as simple workplace conversations.

It's worth remembering that this colleague is still relatively new, and when someone joins a workplace they are often busy settling in, building relationships with lots of people, and finding their feet. Sometimes they may want to chat, and other times they may prefer to spend their lunch break alone or doing something else. That's completely okay.

What stood out to me from your question is that when lunch didn't happen, you quickly looked for another opportunity to connect. Whilst your intentions sound genuinely kind, it's important to be mindful of personal and professional boundaries, particularly with newer colleagues. Friendships tend to develop best when both people are choosing the same level of contact, rather than one person doing most of the organising.

Your message thanking them for being nice to talk to wasn't inappropriate, but I think you've said what you wanted to say now. Rather than analysing it further, I'd step back a little and give them space to initiate contact sometimes too.

Healthy friendships and workplace relationships shouldn't feel as though they need to be constantly managed and it's important to be mindful that colleagues may not always want the same level of friendship or contact that we do, and that's perfectly okay. If this connection is meant to grow, it will do so naturally over time.

For now, my advice would be to focus on friendly, interactions every now and then and let things develop at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you.💜

Hi, I don't think your friend was trying to be unkind, but I can completely understand why her comment upset you.

The truth is that people feel very differently about talking about periods. Some people are happy to chat openly about them, while others feel embarrassed, awkward, or uncomfortable – especially if they haven't started their own periods yet.

When your one friend said periods were "gross" and uncomfortable to talk about, it may have been more about her feelings than about you. Sometimes people say things like that because they're unsure what to say or feel nervous about the topic themselves.

That doesn't change the fact that, in that moment, you probably felt a bit unsupported. You were dealing with period cramps, had your heat pack, and were with friends you trusted. It's understandable that her comment made things feel awkward.

The good news is that your other friend's reaction suggests your friends do care about you, and it doesn't sound as though anyone was trying to make you feel bad for having a period. If anything, they all may realise one day that periods aren't nearly as scary or embarrassing as they think they are right now!

Please don't feel that you have to stop talking about your period with friends if you're comfortable doing so. Periods are a normal part of growing up, and there's nothing wrong with being open about them. 💜

Check out my blog below for more advice.

How Do I Tell My Friends I Got My Period?

Hi, I can understand why you're worried. When you're sharing something personal, it can feel as though everyone will somehow figure out that it's you – especially if the situation sounds familiar to your friends.

The good news is that it's actually very unlikely. Lots of people have similar experiences, whether it's getting a white skirt stained during a period, falling out with friends, feeling anxious, or dealing with school worries. These are common situations that many readers will relate to.

I promise you're probably not as easy to identify as you think! Lots of people experience things like friendship problems, period accidents, family worries, and school stress, so a question that feels very specific to you often isn't unique at all.

I also remove names and any details that could identify someone before publishing questions, so please try not to worry. Asking for advice is nothing to be embarrassed about, and it's very unlikely that anyone will know a question came from you.💜💜