Hi ❤️

Thank you for writing back. I know how overwhelming the thought of going back to school feels right now.

My advice is still to talk to your parents about how you're feeling. Even if you end up crying, that's okay. Tears are often a sign that you've been carrying a lot of worries on your own.

It may also help to ask your parents to speak to the school. They can help put support in place, and the card they've given you shows they want to help. Try not to worry about what other people think. Most students are focused on themselves rather than noticing what someone else is doing.

You're dealing with a lot of emotions at the moment, and that's completely normal. Be kind to yourself and remember that you don't have to handle this alone. Vicki 😊

Hi there 💜

First of all, please don't apologise what you've written doesn't sound like a rant at all. It sounds like someone who has been carrying a lot of worry and hurt on their own for a long time.

What stands out to me is that you're not simply nervous about going back to school. You're frightened because last year was incredibly difficult. If you were crying every night, dreading each day, and struggling with anxiety on top of everything else, it makes complete sense that the thought of Year 11 is bringing all those feelings back.

The fact that you've recently been diagnosed with autism is important too. Sometimes getting a diagnosis can help explain why school has felt so overwhelming, but it doesn't magically make everything easier overnight. You are still processing what it means, and you deserve support.

Please remember this: Year 11 does not have to be a repeat of Year 10.

Your school now has information they didn't have before. If they haven't already, your parents or carers should contact the school's SENDCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) and explain how much you struggled last year. Things such as a safe space at break times, help with anxiety, adjustments in lessons, or regular check-ins with a trusted member of staff may be able to be put in place.

I also want you to know that you don't have to wait until the first day back to ask for help. If the anxiety is becoming overwhelming now, tell a parent, trusted family member, or someone else who can support you. Sometimes sharing exactly how scared you are can help adults understand that this isn't just "back-to-school nerves".

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. You've already got through one of the hardest years you've experienced. That shows a huge amount of strength, even if it didn't feel like it at the time. Take things one day at a time, not the whole year at once. Right now, you don't need to cope with all of Year 11. You just need to get through each day.

Sending you a big hug. You're not alone, and there are people who will want to help once they know how much you're struggling. Vicki 💜

Hi💖

First of all, I want you to know that a foundation year is nothing to be ashamed of. It got you onto your degree, you've successfully completed it, and you're now entering the next stage of your studies. That's an achievement, not a failure.

That said, you're also allowed to have information that you consider private. You don't owe everyone from school or back home a detailed explanation of your academic journey if you don't want to share it.

From what you've described, I don't think you're being unreasonable. You didn't demand that the post be changed. You politely asked after seeing it and explained that calling yourself a "2nd year" feels a bit odd when you're actually starting your third year at university overall.

As for your friend, her response doesn't sound dismissive or annoyed to me. It sounds more like a quick reply from someone who was busy:

"Flipp, I can't really change it now that it's up 🥲"

Often when people manage society social media, they schedule posts, have lots of messages coming in, and don't necessarily realise how important a particular issue is to one person. The fact she hasn't replied further doesn't automatically mean she's upset with you.

Should you follow up? Yes, I think it's reasonable to follow up once.

Because this is causing you significant anxiety, a gentle message is perfectly acceptable. You don't need to mention the foundation year if you're not comfortable doing so.

You could say something like:

"Hey! Sorry to bring this up again. I know you're really busy. I was just wondering if there was any chance of removing the year from my committee post when you get a chance? I'd really appreciate it because it's been playing on my mind a bit. No worries if not, I just thought I'd ask. 💕"

That's polite, appreciative, and doesn't put pressure on her.

What if she says no? If the post stays as it is, it's worth remembering something important:

Most people are far less likely to notice than your anxiety is telling you.

For someone to work out that you completed a foundation year, they would need to:

• See the society post.
• Notice it says "2nd year".
• Remember what year you're supposed to be in.
• Think about it long enough to realise there must have been a foundation year.
• Care enough to ask.

That's actually quite a long chain of events. Anxiety has a habit of taking a possibility and making it feel like a probability.

If someone does ask: You don't have to justify yourself.

You could simply say:

"I did a foundation year before starting my degree." Then change the subject. You don't owe anybody an explanation beyond that.

You mentioned regretting telling people in the past that you hadn't done a foundation year. I think the reason this feels so stressful now is that you're trying to protect a secret that doesn't actually reflect anything negative about you.  Sometimes the fear of judgment becomes much bigger than the thing itself.

Think of it like this, if one of your friends told you they'd done a foundation year, would you think less of them? Probably not.

For now, though, focus on what you can control: send one polite follow-up message, then let your friend respond in her own time.

And please remember this: whether you're entering the second year of your degree or your third year at university overall, you've earned your place there. That's something to be proud of, not something to hide. ❤️Vicki 

 Hi 💖

I completely understand why that emergency alert scared you. I have to admit, when mine went off, I jumped too and looked around wondering where the noise was coming from! So you definitely weren't the only one feeling startled.

The good news is that what you heard was simply a test of the UK's Emergency Alerts system. The government occasionally sends these alerts to check that the system is working properly and that people can receive important messages on their phones.

If you think about it, that's actually quite reassuring. It means that if there was ever a real emergency, such as severe weather, flooding, or another situation where people needed urgent information, a message could be sent to millions of people at the same time. Everyone would know what was happening and what they needed to do to stay safe.

It's completely normal to feel nervous when a loud alarm suddenly goes off, especially if you weren't expecting it. Our brains are wired to pay attention to unexpected noises! But because it was only a test, there was no danger and nothing for you to worry about.

So, while it may have been a bit of a shock at first, try to think of it as a useful safety tool that helps keep people informed during real emergencies.

Take a deep breath, you're safe, and everything is okay. 💕

Hi there ❤️

I am so incredibly sorry you've received this news. Hearing that someone you love so deeply may only have a short time left is devastating, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling heartbroken right now.

Your nanna is clearly a very special person in your life, and when someone has been such a huge part of your world, the thought of losing them can feel overwhelming. Many people worry about how they'll cope when a loved one dies, especially when they can't imagine life without them.

If you're able to, spend as much time with your nanna as you can. Talk about happy memories, look through old photographs together, listen to music she loves, or simply sit and hold her hand. Even if conversations become difficult, your presence will mean so much to both of you.

Try not to put pressure on yourself to be strong all the time. It's okay to cry, feel angry, scared, numb, or any other emotion that comes up. There is no right or wrong way to feel when someone you love is nearing the end of their life.

Right now, focus on making precious memories and telling your nanna all the things you want her to know. Remind her how much you love her and how important she is to you. The love, lessons, laughter, and special moments you've shared will always be a part of who you are.

The truth is that losing someone we love is one of the hardest experiences we face. The grief won't disappear overnight, but you won't always feel as overwhelmed as you do today. Lean on your family and friends, talk about your feelings, and let others support you through this difficult time.

Most importantly, remember that although your nanna may not always be physically by your side, the love between you will never leave you. That bond, and all the memories you've made together, will stay in your heart forever.

Sending you the biggest hug. ❤️ Vicki 

Hi there 💖

Firstly, thank you for your question. Please don't apologise addressing your concerns is what I'm here for, and I know lots of other girls your age will be wondering the same thing.

What you're describing sounds very much like mood swings, and they can feel really overwhelming when they happen. One minute you might feel absolutely fine, and the next, you're upset or crying over something that wouldn't normally bother you at all.

The good news is that this is a very normal part of puberty. As your body grows and changes, your hormones can affect your emotions too. Many girls find they become more sensitive, tearful, irritable, or emotional during this time.

Could it be a sign that your first period is on the way? Yes, it could be. Mood changes are one of the signs that some girls notice before their periods start. However, everyone is different, so it's impossible to say exactly when your first period will arrive.

The most important thing to remember is that there's nothing wrong with you. Being a tomboy doesn't mean you can't cry, and crying doesn't make you weak. Sometimes your body is simply going through a lot of changes, and your emotions need a way to come out.

Try to be kind to yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed. If you feel tears coming, take a little break if you can. Read a book, listen to music, draw, go for a walk, or do something else that helps you feel calm.

I'd also encourage you to have a chat with your parents or another trusted adult. Let them know you've been feeling more emotional lately. They can offer support and reassurance while you navigate these changes.

Remember, puberty can be a bit of a rollercoaster, but it won't feel this confusing forever. You're doing just fine. ❤️ Vicki x 💕

Hi there 💖

Yes, what you're describing makes perfect sense, and it's more common than you might think.

For the most part we're all social creatures, so it's completely normal to enjoy being around other people and to feel happier when you're spending time with friends and family. The tricky part is when your happiness depends entirely on having someone else around.

If you often feel uncomfortable in your own company, try not to be too hard on yourself. Many people struggle with this. Building confidence on your own takes time, and it can help to find activities you genuinely enjoy by yourself, whether that's listening to music, reading, gaming, exercising, or getting creative.

It can also be worth asking yourself what makes being alone difficult. Do you feel lonely, bored, anxious, or simply unsure of what to do with your time? Understanding the reason can help you work out what you need.

Remember, it's healthy to lean on other people sometimes, but it's also important to learn how to enjoy your own company. The more comfortable you become with yourself, the less you'll rely on others for your happiness.

Be kind to yourself. You're not unusual, and this is something that can get easier with time. ❤️ Vicki ❤️

Hi there 💖 I'm so sorry for your loss.

Losing someone who means a lot to you, whether that's a family member, friend, or even a beloved pet, can be incredibly painful. As a child or teenager, it can feel especially confusing because you're trying to cope with your own feelings while also seeing the people around you upset and grieving too.

One of the most important things to remember is that it's okay to be sad. Grief isn't something you need to "get over" quickly or hide from others. Crying, feeling angry, missing the person, or even having days when you feel completely fine are all normal parts of the grieving process.

It can help to talk about the person you've lost with someone you trust, write down your feelings in a journal, look at happy photos, or create a special memory box filled with things that remind you of them. Some people also find comfort in sharing stories and memories with family and friends.

Try to be patient and kind to yourself. Grief doesn't follow a timetable, and everyone experiences it differently. Over time, the sadness usually becomes easier to carry. The memories that make you cry today may one day make you smile because you'll be remembering the happy moments you shared together.

Most of all, don't feel that you have to go through this alone. If you're struggling, reach out to a parent, trusted adult, teacher, or friend. Talking about how you're feeling can make a big difference.

Sending you a big hug. ❤️ Vicki

Hi there 💖

Firstly, take a deep breath.

You've got a lot going on at the moment: your third period, cramps, friendship drama, a crush being shared without your permission, worries about starting a new school, acne, anger, and questions about what your parents might think about your new friend. No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed.

The first thing I want you to know is that you don't have to solve all of these problems at once.

Let's break things down a bit.

Your period sounds quite normal. During the first few years, it's common to have cramps even when there isn't much bleeding. Early periods can be irregular, light, heavy, and generally unpredictable.

As for the boy situation, I'm really sorry your friend told other people about your crush. That wasn't fair. But try not to let this define you. Having a crush is completely normal, and I promise you're not the first person in your year to have one. Most people will have forgotten about it much sooner than you think.

Now let's talk about the friendship issue. From what you've written, it sounds as though this friendship has become very stressful. One thing puberty teaches us is that not every friendship is meant to last forever. Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is step back from people who constantly upset us.

Regarding your anger, I'm glad you've spoken to a doctor about it. What happened with the walking stick sounds really upsetting, especially after all the work you'd put into making it. But here's something important: anger is an explanation, not an excuse. We can't always control how we feel, but we can learn ways to manage how we react.

One of the most powerful things you can learn is to pause before responding. Sometimes walking away, taking a few deep breaths, or saying nothing at all is much stronger than having the perfect comeback.

As for your new crush, you don't have to panic about what your parents might say. Right now, you've met someone you like talking to, and that's okay. At 11, friendships and crushes are often about getting to know people and enjoying their company. You don't need to rush into anything or have all the answers straight away.

Finally, I'm a little concerned when you say you're dealing with depression and that you're crying, feeling angry, and struggling with lots of emotions. Puberty can absolutely make feelings bigger and more intense, but you shouldn't feel like you have to carry this on your own. Even if your mum isn't keen on counselling right now, please keep talking to trusted adults. That could be a parent, another family member, a teacher, a school nurse, a Scout leader you trust, or your doctor.

And one last thing:

Acne doesn't make you ugly. A leaked crush doesn't make you embarrassing. A difficult friendship doesn't make you a bad person. A tough few months don't mean life will always feel this hard.

You're dealing with a lot, but you're also showing a lot of strength by talking about it instead of bottling it all up. Take care, Vicki 💕

That' great news, I am so glad they have helped you already. Vicki 💕

Hi, I'm glad my previous reply helped put your mind at ease. When it comes to overthinking, you're definitely not alone. In fact, many people spend far more time replaying conversations, worrying about projects, or wondering what others think of them than they'd like to admit.

Some of the websites I mentioned previously can be really helpful if overthinking is becoming a regular problem. They often have practical techniques for managing anxious thoughts and putting things into perspective.

As an overthinker myself, I've found that time can be a great reality check. Something that feels huge today often feels much less important a couple of days later. If you catch yourself analysing every detail of a conversation or project, try asking yourself, "Will this still matter to me next week?" Quite often, the answer is no.

I've also found that staying physically active helps. A brisk walk, a swim, a gym session, or any sport you enjoy can give your mind a break from constantly running through scenarios. Exercise can help shift your focus away from repetitive thoughts and onto the present moment.

Another useful trick is to ask yourself whether you're dealing with facts or assumptions. For example, if you're worrying that someone thinks negatively about you, do you actually have evidence for that, or is your mind filling in the blanks? More often than not, we're guessing what other people think rather than knowing it for certain.

Finally, try to remember that most people are far more focused on themselves than on us. Just as you're busy thinking about what you said in a conversation, the other person is probably thinking about what they said!

Be patient with yourself. Overthinking is a habit that takes time to break, but learning to step back, stay active, and give yourself a little time before judging a situation can make a huge difference.

Hi there 💖

Firstly, thank you for sharing something so personal with me. Reading your message, I can tell you're carrying around a lot of difficult feelings right now, and I want you to know that you're not alone.

What you're describing is actually something many young people experience during puberty. Your body is changing, your hormones are changing, your emotions can feel much bigger than they used to, and sometimes it all seems to happen at once.

The first thing I want to say is this: please don't try to eat less or go on a diet because of these feelings. During puberty, your body needs extra energy and nutrients because you're growing and developing every day. Feeling hungrier than usual is often completely normal. My top tip would be to add more healthy foods to your plate at meal times so you are less likely to snack in between meals.

It's also important to know that puberty naturally changes your body shape. Your hips may widen, your tummy may look rounder than it used to, and your body may store a little more fat as you grow. These changes can feel strange when you're not used to them, but they are a healthy and normal part of development.

What worries me most in your message is how unhappy you feel when you look at yourself. Calling yourself "fat", "ugly" or "disgusting" must feel really painful, and I'm so sorry you're struggling with those thoughts. The truth is, we are often much harsher on ourselves than we would ever be on a friend.

And then there's social media.

Please remember that many of the photos and videos you see online are filtered, edited, posed, or taken in perfect lighting. Even people who seem to have "perfect" bodies or skin don't look like that all the time in real life. Comparing yourself to those images is like comparing yourself to a highlight reel.

You also mentioned your friends. I know it's hard, but try not to compare yourself to them. Every person develops at a different pace. Some people get spots, some get greasy hair, some grow taller quickly, some gain weight before they grow taller. Puberty isn't a race, and there isn't one "right" way to look.

As for your skin and hair, hormone changes are often the reason for both breakouts and greasy hair.

A simple routine can help:

• Wash your face morning and evening with a gentle, unperfumed cleanser.
• Use a light moisturiser suitable for young skin.
• Try not to pick, squeeze, or constantly touch spots.
• Keep your hair off your face where possible.
• Wash greasy hair with a shampoo designed for oily hair.
• Use conditioner only on the ends if you need it.
• Get plenty of sleep and drink enough water.

Most importantly, please talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling. A parent, carer, older sibling, school nurse, teacher, or another trusted adult can support you. The fact that you've been crying a lot and feeling so down about yourself suggests you could really benefit from having someone in your corner.

I want to leave you with one thought:

You are not failing at puberty. Nothing in your question sounds unusual, in fact it sounds like a young person whose body is growing, whose hormones are changing, and who is being far too hard on themselves.

Be gentle with yourself. Puberty doesn't last forever, and things that feel overwhelming now really do get easier with time. ❤️Vicki 

Firstly, be kind to yourself. 💜

From what you've written, you've been through a lot, and yet you've still worked hard to understand yourself, find healthier ways to cope, and move forward. That's something to be really proud of.

What you're describing doesn't sound like you've failed or gone backwards. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite. Even when life is going well, most of us still have moments where a wave of sadness, worry, or self-doubt appears out of nowhere. It can feel confusing when you've been having a good day and suddenly everything seems darker for a while.

Something I often remind people is that a bad moment doesn't erase all the progress you've made. Recovery isn't about never having difficult thoughts again - it's about learning how to handle them when they come. And from your question, it sounds as though you're already doing that much better than before.

When these "blips" happen, try not to fight them or panic that you're back at square one. Instead, remind yourself, "This is just a moment, not my whole future." Then do something that brings you a sense of calm, whether that's reading, listening to music, going for a walk, journalling, or talking to someone you trust.

I also think it's important to recognise just how far you've come. You've survived a rough patch, made a difficult decision about a relationship, and learnt a lot about who you are. That's not easy, and it deserves credit.

Be patient with yourself. Healing isn't a straight line, and nobody feels positive every single day. The fact that you're having more good days and noticing these moments as exceptions tells me you're moving in the right direction. 💜

Hi lovely, I'm so sorry you're feeling lonely at bedtime. 💛 First of all, I want you to know that you're not strange, and you're not the only one who feels this way. Lots of young people find that their worries seem much bigger at night when everything is quiet and there are fewer distractions.

One thing that can help is creating a calming bedtime routine. After dinner, try doing something active for a little while, whether that's dancing around your room, playing outside or helping with jobs around the house. Then start winding down for bed with a warm bath or shower, comfy pyjamas and a cool, cosy bedroom.

If you have a phone or device, try putting it away before sleep, as scrolling can sometimes make worries feel bigger. Instead, you could listen to gentle music, an audiobook, or calming sounds such as rain or ocean waves. I personally love listening to wave sounds because they help me feel relaxed and grounded. 🌊

You could also keep a notebook by your bed and write down anything that's worrying you. Sometimes getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper can help you feel less overwhelmed.

Most importantly, if you're regularly feeling upset or alone, try talking to a trusted adult in the daytime when your parents aren't busy. Let them know how you've been feeling at night. You deserve support, and you don't have to deal with these feelings all by yourself. 💛

Hi lovely 💖, I totally get how you feel. Even when you're surrounded by family, it can still feel lonely when everyone disappears into their own rooms. And if your period is due soon, those sad or teary feelings can seem much bigger than they usually would. Just remember: those feelings are real, but they won't last forever. 💕

Why not try creating a little evening routine for yourself? Having something to look forward to can make those hours feel much shorter. You could suggest family activities during the week too, like:

• a comedy show on Monday,
• a family walk after dinner on Tuesday,
• a board game night on Wednesday,
• helping with dinner on Thursday,
• a cosy pamper night with your mum or another trusted adult on Friday.

When you do have time to yourself, try filling it with things that make you feel good rather than just scrolling and feeling bored. Reading is a great option, especially if you find a book series you love. You could also try journalling, colouring, crochet, friendship bracelets, drawing, baking, learning a dance, listening to a podcast, or starting a small craft project. Sometimes having a project to work on over a few evenings gives you something exciting to come back to.

And if you're feeling a bit emotional, be kind to yourself. Put on some cosy pyjamas, grab a blanket, make a warm drink, and watch a comfort show or movie. Sometimes the best thing to do is simply let yourself have a cosy evening instead of feeling like you need to be doing something all the time.

Do also have a chat to your parents or a trusted adult and let them know how you are feeling, even though these  sad evenings may be caused by puberty, it's still real and important💕

Hi there, firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. 💜 Losing one grandparent is incredibly hard, but losing both of them within such a short space of time is a huge amount for anyone to cope with.

What you've describing is grief and it can make the world feel very different for a while. You're not only missing your grandparents, you're also missing the routines, the visits, and the comfort of knowing they were there. It's completely understandable that everything feels a bit empty right now.

Many people find that after losing someone they love, they suddenly start worrying about death much more than they ever did before. Your mind is trying to make sense of something painful, but those scary thoughts and "what if" scenarios are not predictions of the future.

Try not to keep your feelings bottled up. Talking to family, sharing memories, looking at photographs, or even doing something special in memory of your grandparents can help. Remembering them doesn't keep you stuck in grief - it helps keep your connection with them alive.

Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. What you're feeling now won't last forever, even though it may feel that way. With time, the sadness usually becomes less overwhelming, and the happy memories start to shine through more often than the pain. 💜

Hi 💜 During puberty, it's completely normal to feel more sensitive than usual. Your hormone levels are changing, which can affect your emotions and make you react more strongly to things that normally wouldn't bother you. You might even notice your mood changing several times throughout the day.

When you're feeling upset by someone's comment or behaviour, try not to jump to conclusions straight away. Taking a step back and giving yourself a little time can really help. Sometimes, when you look back on the situation later, you'll realise that no harm or unkindness was intended.

Remember that being sensitive isn't a flaw, it's just part of who you are. Be kind to yourself, and if your feelings are becoming overwhelming or making everyday life difficult, don't be afraid to talk to a parent, trusted adult, or friend about how you're feeling. 💜

Hi, 💜

I'm sorry you're feeling upset. From what you've written, it sounds like your mum made a comment about you forgetting what your friend said, and it really stuck with you.

Sometimes parents make jokes or throwaway remarks without realising how much they can hurt, especially when we're already feeling a bit sensitive or worried about something.

Forgetting something a friend said doesn't make you a bad friend. Everyone forgets things sometimes! Being a good friend is about being kind, caring, and there for people, not having a perfect memory. Try not to let one comment define how you see yourself.

As for feeling like your mum prefers your sister, that can be a really painful feeling. But from experience, it's often not the reality. Parents don't always show their love in exactly the same way to each child because every child is different. I'm sure your mum loves you both very much, even if it doesn't always feel that way in the moment.

Puberty can make emotions feel a bit like a rollercoaster, and comments that might normally wash over us can hit much harder. If this is still bothering you, maybe tell your mum how her comment made you feel. You might be surprised to find she never intended to upset you at all.

Be kind to yourself today. ❤️

Hi, it can feel really scary to talk about your mental health, so please know you're not alone if you're finding it hard to speak up. 💜 Rather than jumping straight to asking for therapy, it may feel easier to start by telling your parents that things haven't felt quite right for a while and that you're struggling with your emotions or feeling overwhelmed.

You don't need to have all the answers or know exactly what kind of help you need. Sometimes just saying, "I've been finding things difficult lately and I think I need some support" is enough to start the conversation. The adults who care about you will want to understand what's going on and help you feel better.

It's also worth remembering that therapy isn't always the very first step. Your family may help you explore different ways to support your wellbeing, such as talking more openly, speaking to someone at school, or visiting your doctor. If more support is needed, therapy is something that can be looked at together. The important thing is not to keep your worries to yourself, you deserve support, and asking for help is a really brave thing to do. 💜

Hi, thank you for reaching out. I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. Being left out by friends, feeling talked over, and having problems at home would make anyone feel upset, and it's understandable that these experiences are affecting you. What concerns me most is that you've been feeling sad and anxious for such a long time.
I would really encourage you to speak to a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, school counsellor, or family member, and tell them exactly how you're feeling. They will be able to support you with both the friendship issues and the anxiety you've described. If your sister is hurting you, especially if you've been left with a scar, this is something an adult should know about too.

It's great that you've found fidgets and squishies helpful for managing your anxiety. If your parents don't want to buy them, you could explain how they help when you're feeling anxious. A trusted adult at school might also have ideas for other calming tools or strategies you can use, but please don't try to cope with these feelings on your own. You matter, and you deserve support. 💜